My 94-year old mother in law still lives alone in her own house which is right around the corner from us. While she can still take care of herself with regards to hygiene and bathroom tasks, she is becoming more and more confused and dependent upon us (my husband especially). She is sad, lonely, scared and spends a great deal of her time sitting alone crying. We suspect that she is no longer eating much, unless we go over and fix her something. She has lost all interest in her hobbies, and doesn't even watch much TV any more.
Both my husband and I work full time, and we have no other family to share in the care giving. We do have an in-home aid that comes twice a week for a few hours just to keep her company. That seems to have helped some, but only on the days she is there.
After a lot of research and speaking with professionals (and great input from this forum) we have decided that an assisted living environment would be a good choice for her. It's a beautiful place. We have been told that having company and activities really help perk up people like her, helping to decrease the confusion and loneliness. We found a beautiful AL place not far from us, which offers a lot of activities and seems like a perfect fit (if there can be such a thing under these circumstances).
After a forceful discussion, my husband finally convinced her to go on a tour of the AL facility. While there she was pleasant and seemed impressed with what she saw. Once we left she stated that she was not going to live there. Several days of hell followed in which we tried to talk to her about all that was offered and how much it would enrich her life. Being a stubborn person by nature, coupled with her confusion (she thinks they want her to be a waitress at the AL) we are getting no where. We finally had to back off because everyone was so upset and stressed out.
I'm sure this is not an unusual situation, but we just don't know what would be best. Do we just leave her in her own because she says that's what she wants, even though she no longer is thinking rationally? Or do we force the issue? My husband is considering going to court to be made her guardian, but that is a last resort. Any input/suggestions would be appreciated.