Anyone have MIL living with you unplanned and uninvited?

What I meant was that if she's not actually broke, even getting her in a little apartment, assisted living -- anything out of your house would be a start. With a little apartment, depending on her condition, some paid person to look in on her would be a good idea.

I don't mean that you and spouse wouldn't look in on her, but sometimes a stranger is better for the routine stuff.

I'm just wondering if you can pull that airplane thing on sister or other siblings? I guess that was a sneaky, low thing to do and I probably shouldn't suggest it back to you, but that just blows me away. That's even more underhanded than my own family has ever done! I don't know if I'm shocked or impressed.

Anyway, how's her money? As jeannegibbs says, you're not required to keep her. Is the house you're in initially her house? Or, is her house still available for her to live in? I'm just curious. In any event, can you tell her she has to move out, that you'll help her get a temporary place in your town until everything is worked-out? By "temporary" I really mean "permanent" but just by saying "temporary and until worked-out" hoping she'll accept it, for the moment. Or, if she's really sharp, she'll figure it out and refuse, but I guess it's worth a try.

OMG. You just told my life story. Mine was 85, and she arrived in Philly from Tennesee with her elder sister. I had 8 hours notice. Now 7 years later, I am dealing with her rapid decline. I can't work anymore (much) as I can't leave the house. Her sister has since passed, but now I am a prisoner, changing her diaper, feeding her and bathing. Home day care says we live too far away, nursing homes tell me she needs to qualify first. Plait 3 more weeks and someone will be right with you. Hospice came out but never got back to me.
Good luck honey. You will soon lose your sanity like I have. I missed the boat by not having her go straight into a nursing home from hospital stay last month. The social worker said (under her breath) that I could call emergency to get her back in hospital, and say in Emergency room she needs nursing care. I told her about the 3 day hospital stay thing..she said it wasn't true. I don't know what to believe anymore.
I thought it would be now in the later years. I thought the past 7 were bad....that was nothing compared to this. If I find anything out before you do, I will let you know. This is horrible.

It is not true that there is nothing you can do. If MIL is mentally competent it is true that you cannot insist that she go to a care center or in any way dictate what she must do. BUT you have total control over what you do. You can't sign her up for a nursing home, but you can decide who lives in your own house. You can go through appropriate steps, such as getting a social worker involved, help apply for financial aid if she needs it, and actually serve her eviction papers. You DO NOT need to allow her to live in your house.

I agree that it would be in many ways easier if she were in the hospital, and then you could refuse to bring her home. But you can refuse to have her live with you regardless of her health.

I think you may have been asking the attorneys the wrong question. You don't need to know how to force her into a particular living situation. You just need to know how to exert your right to determine who is living in your home.

And, of course, she can expect whatever she wants to expect. She can expect you to wait on her. But she cannot force it, can she? Are you enabling her selfish behavior by rewarding her demands?

This is your husband's mother. Is he willing to do what is necessary to have her removed from your home? If not, then you have some tough decisions. If he is, then there really are things you can do, whether she goes to a hospital or not. They will take a while to accomplish. The sooner you set them in motion, the sooner they will be finished.