She stays with us 2 months at a time. There is nothing physically wrong with her. She has been to the doctors and hospitals for stomach pain for over 35 years now. They have found nothing wrong with her, but she loves the attention she gets while there. She just doesn't want to live alone and wants to be taken care of. This has been going on for 4 years now. We were keeping her for 4 months but by the end of 2 months my marriage is strained. This is also the case for his sister.
His mother will only sit on the couch and not do anything. We have a trainer come in twice a week for 30 minutes to get her off the couch. We only cook for her once a week because otherwise she would not move around. She does not help around the house and when she makes a mess she always claims she didn't do it. We have her clean her mess, but she doesn't want to do it. She is an older Indian woman that believes she should be taken care of. I have two children and my sister-in-law has 1. While other grandparents want to help with the children, she only wants the attention having a grandchild will give her. Needless to say this is really putting a strain on both of our marriages. I have told my husband that she needs to start doing chores around the house. Nothing big, maybe dusting, swiping the floor or doing dishes. He is for it but doesn't' want the headache its going to cause when she doesn't do it.
We have looked into Independent living places for her but she doesn't want to go. She won't visit her friends and they don't want to come and see her because she expects them to bring her stuff and do things for her. She does see a psychiatrist and is on medication.
I guess my question is "What kinds of chores should I have her do? and how often?"