I am writing this for my sister. She is 33 and has a husband (40) and a daughter (2). They recently had a house built and they have been in their new house for about 3 months now.
My sister's MIL has health problems including Stage 4 ("end stage") COPD and osteoporosis. She is on oxygen and uses a rollator (walker).
Up until a couple months ago she was living in her own apartment, however she became a constant fall risk (she fell several times before her sons had her move out of her apartment and stay with one of them).
The reason this happened is I guess she couldn't afford a home health aide on top of the rent she was paying. Anyways my sister and her husband offered for her to stay with them because she didn't want to stay with one of the brothers and the other brother's house who she was staying at was very dirty, had mold etc, so she couldn't stay there because of her COPD.
My sister was nice enough to let her move in and installed a stair lift into her brand new house (the MIL paid for it) but now all she does is sit downstairs in the same chair all day long.
She is SO nosy you can't even go visit without her wanting to know everything you're saying and then she brings up inappropriate topics like trying to gossip about our friends or family.
I watch my niece on Mondays so I also care for my sister's MIL on Mondays and Fridays because my sister was leary of having a stranger in her house (she has a big goofy dog & a lot of valuables and you just really don't know about people anymore) so I offered and it kind of worked out for both of us but now the MIL is driving everyone crazy!
I feel like I can't really complain about the way she treats me on Mondays and Fridays because she is paying me so it's a little different but she behaves the same way toward everybody all the time.
I hate to say it because I'm not an ugly person but she is SO annoying and nosy and then she gets her feelings hurt when you call her out on things. I am literally losing my mind and my heart breaks for my sister and brother-in-law.
She sits in the chair downstairs all the time so my sister and her husband have no family time for just themselves and their toddler, like they can't just hang out downstairs and spend time with their daughter as a family because she's always around and you have to always repeat everything to her because she is so incredibly nosy then she gets her feelings hurt if you don't want to repeat what you said. She basically commandeers the whole downstairs area ALL the time, and the rest of my side of the family doesn't really like her so no one goes over to my sister's new house to hang out (she just moved to the same town as us and she's really close like 4 miles away).
My sister loves to bake she has a brand new kitchen that she worked hard to get (this house is their dream home) and she's not able to just go in there and bake in peace without having to answer a million questions or make small talk. If her and her husband want to just hang out and watch TV they're basically forced to go hang out in the small sitting room they have that's connected to their bedroom. That's the only place they can get away from her. They bought her a brand new Apple TV and set her room up with a recliner so she could go and have her own private time and give them a break too but she never goes up there she just sits down stairs all the time with no regard for other people's space or privacy.
She constantly asks people to do things that she knows she can do by herself like getting something for her or turning on/off the lights or making her something to eat. It's just getting so difficult to deal with her because she is such a rude SELFISH old lady. None of the grandkids want anything to do with her because, as we've recently found out, she was mean to them too. Basically my sister and her husband got stuck with her with no relief. It's not fair to my sister and my brother-in-law who tried for a year to have a baby for her to just expect they are going to do everything for her when they have their own child to spend time with and do things for.
There is also so much resentment because her husband died from lung cancer (they were very heavy smokers) and she had COPD for years and didn't stop smoking. She basically did this to herself, she chose to live an unhealthy lifestyle knowing she would eventually be a burden on her family and then she shows no respect or gratitude to the people who offered to give her a place to live. My sister and her husband are losing their minds because they moved her in way too soon. What can they do? She really needs to live on her own but they sold all of her stuff when they moved her out of the apartment! Is there anything that can be done at this point? There is so much anger, regret and resentment felt all the time and the rest of us are really wasting a lot of time and energy constantly talking about her or avoiding her.