She is a lifelong alcoholic and never follows rules. She is being evicted because her dog barked constantly and made a mess of the apartment (we removed the dog with the help of a social worker assigned to her), she's allowed overnight guests, won't allow an apartment inspection, etc. He has some dementia and we have told her several times she is being evicted, but she forgets. When her son and I told her she was moving to assisted living, she said this was the first she heard of it and started shouting at us and said she will not leave. What happens if she gets violent when we have to physically (forcibly) remove her?
The social worker will be there (hopefully--has not showed up in the past)
Once you know what happens in her state, explain it calmly and ask if she wants your help with any part of this. If she doesn't, stand aside and let the law take its course. It would be good if her social worker could be there when she has to move.
I am so, so sorry that you and your husband have this burden, CallmeRuth.