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We have to tell her daily how to use it and of course this makes her angry.Should we get rid of the chair? I am concerned for her safety as sometimes if Im not in the room she gets off the chair that is in a reclining position.Im not sure the chair is really worth the stress it causes all of us.

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mcs175 - I understand how demoralizing the barrage of anger and negativity is.

It's easier to let it roll off your back when you remind yourself that she's not angry at you. She's angry at the universe and at herself because she can't do anything right. She's unhappy and scared, and she expresses it as anger.

Can you try saying, "That stupid chair! It never works right. OK, I beat it into submission." "Stupid nightgown. That's mom's head, not her arm!" "Is that bothering you again? What a piece of crap it is, bothering my mother!" Take her side whenever you possibly can. It's not her failure, but the outside world that is at fault.

Would she find bad language funny? Maybe children's words like "doo-doo head?" Anything to make her laugh. The wrong shoes on the wrong feet? "Mom! You invented a new style!"

You are NOT the bad guy. You are her salvation. She trusts you not to abandon her, so she relaxes around you and shows her feelings. Try to put the focus on something besides her disabilities, or to treat her disabilities as kind of amusing and endearing, not anything to be ashamed of. "Oh, Mom, you just messed this up because you want me to come over here and fuss over you. I'm onto your game."

When you lose your patience, as you will, give her a hug and apologize. Remind her of all the trouble you gave her - invent some, if necessary - and tell her she deserves your help. Don't beat yourself up for not being perfect. Take a deep breath, give yourself a hug and a kiss, and get back into the game.

Boy, I wish I could take my own advice!
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Does it make it easier for you to keep her comfortable? After a while, you may be glad to use it to help get her up.
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Can you store it for now, and decide if you are better off with it or without it?
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She says she is not comfortable anywhere.Moves from chair to chair to bed.Not the chair just one of her obsessions.Yes we can store.She gets angry when we remind her how to use the chair.Or help when she puts two legs in one pant leg or puts her shoes on wrong All the time or puts her head in her nightgown sleeve or just about anything really!! Venting...sick and tired of being the bad guy!! More than just the chair.Getting rid of it tho.one less argument! Thank you for your input!! Greatly appreciated!!
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Lol, Thank you Jinx4740. Ill try it!!
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