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I read somewhere that the last taste bud to diminish is the sweet one. My mom is 102 and wants jelly on meat and complains that chicken salad is sour. She wants huge amounts of herbs on everything as she says my cooking is tasteless. Of course she demands no salt which doesn't help. Eats small amounts but ALWAYS has room for dessert.
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Ladymiller I completely agree that there is no point in withholding anything that enriches your mother's quality of life. I'm glad she's doing well, hugs.
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I'm not sure I want MIL to leave me her nibbled Lindt bunnies! :/

But that's very interesting, Arianne - so you have good reason to believe the sweet cravings were a symptom of his illness, yes? That's exactly what was troubling me.
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I've just deleted my replies, though thank you all for your trouble, because no matter how hard I try to avoid it they keep swerving back to the one theme: serves her right. Which is not something I like myself for thinking. Even if it does!

It's a battle-picking exercise, isn't it.

Hm. Has anyone done that online course in Stress Free Living on the Mayo's website? Looks interesting.
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I haven't read the other answers yet, but I'll just tell you about my husband, who was in his late 70s when he died. Until he became ill, he was the kind of person who would eat half a candy bar and save the rest for later. Then he became obsessed with having sweets available at all times. Toward the end of his life, he lost interest in sweets and died, leaving me obligated to eat a tray full of frozen eclairs. I enjoyed your writing style.
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Mom's doctor said Alzheimer's patients crave sugar. Give her what she wants. She's 88 with Alzheimer's, dementia and cancer. They'll watch the blood tests. Her weight was 85 and is up to 97 now. Her oncology team is thrilled she gained weight. Mom never drank soda. After she refused to drink water, I discovered she loves soda now. I give her diet and regular so she isn't too overloaded with sugar. I give her a gossip magazine and a candy bar (Milka chocolate covered oreo bar) once in a while and it thrills her to no end.
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yes you will hear all about how when they age they can "taste" better with sweets. Not true it is her meds. I take all my "wanna be healthy" seniors off meds and they eat food again and exercise. They will die in there sleep one day but in the meantime they LIVE.
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Thx, BB.
Yes, good article.
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http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/denial/art-20047926

Mayo clinic article on denial, Golden.
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CM, any change in mental status should be reported to pcp. Of course her children know that as well as you do, but they are not going to do anything about it, because it would lead to shame and ridicule. I think, in general, narcissistic folks get poor medical care.
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I hadn't thought of stroke, no, though now you mention it... But the woman's as fit as a fiddle. It would be going too far to say I dread it, but I would put money on her getting to 100.

I am very happy to leave all medical matters to her family, not just because they're a medical family but also because MIL is a complete bloody nightmare. Games such as insisting that SIL accompanies her to appointments, but then refusing to allow her to ask questions and mocking any opinion she offers. I have heard her argue with my ex, Golden Child, about the correct dose of a painkiller until even he became genuinely exasperated with her (and I honestly couldn't blame him, for once!). She goes to the appointments she wants to go to, is what it boils down to; and I don't think that so far that would include anything that suggests there might be anything wrong with her head. Mammograms, bone scans and the usual checks are done regularly though.

I know she takes calcium and Vitamin D because of osteoporosis fears; and I think a statin but couldn't swear to it. Hmm, statins. I wonder...

That point about the dopamine is a very interesting one, too, thank you.

I'm certainly not the best qualified person to guess what's going on, not by any means; but I am more detached from her than her children are so perhaps changes are more noticeable to me. And it's nobody else's fault that her sometimes appalling personality interferes with any picture one might hope to get of behavioural changes.

Aaarrrgghh! Can't believe I'm joining in with the Let's All Worry About Poor Grandma party! On the other hand, I also hope I'm not just subconsciously ill-wishing her :(

Thank you everybody, I will re-read and follow up all the leads.
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Does she have any form of dementia? Years ago, I read an article about why dementia patients will crave sweets and other foods that they typically don't eat. Something about their dopamine center and it's reward system is the reason for this. It's a biochemical change related to the progression of dementia. My friend's mother had Lewy Body disease and the year before she passed away, she would eat an entire sheet cake, like a very large one, all by herself. The family kept saying it was depression though she wasn't diagnosed with depression. A sudden change in eating sweets can signal an elevated blood sugar or a Candida overgrowth though it hasn't physically presented on the skin yet or something else is going on. Letting the primary doctor is a good idea and it certainly wouldn't hurt to request a complete blood work panel with urine test if this hasn't been done in the last six months.
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BB - crossposted with you too! Could you share more info about where to find that article on denial?
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Cross posted with you. Sounds like a lost cause. Like my sister a few years ago saying that mother has a few little emotional problems when in fact she had a serious mental illness combined with developing dementia. Nothing like denial, is there?
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Cm, denial is a powerful and useful defense mechanism. Mayo has an interesting article about that this month.

It sounds to me as though MIL has had a stroke; Is that what you're thinking?
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cm - I do think there is a "medical" problem with your mil, "something wrong with her brain," but I doubt that, even if some of us could come up with scientific references, they would be accepted by your sil. I think your mil needs a thorough physical check up. If there is any basis on which you could encourage that, I think it would be a helpful route to follow. Good luck!
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Long phone conversation with lovely SIL. Sigh. Got nowhere? - didn't even start. MIL is apparently God's gift to daughters everywhere - [cue hollow laughter] - and simply marvellous for her age. To be honest I just don't think I'll bother.
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CM, not your circus, dear one. Your SIL knows there is stuff going on but given their history what will she do? I think that you might remember that inhibitions slip and what you are seeing is what was INSIDE all the time, just better hidden until now. N A R C I S S I S T. Just like my mother-in-law whose progressing Parkinson's dementia is no longer allowing her to remember which lie she told who and what manipulation worked. Sad, but there is little to do but manage around them.
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Thank you, all.

BB - no chance, no. I emailed her a research paper from the Weizmann Institute this morning, and I've just had her reply saying "gosh how interesting I'm going to ignore that thanks." Ugh. I mean, she has a First Class Honours degree in Pharmacology - I don't expect her to take my word for anything medical or scientific, obviously. But these people aren't cranks or amateurs. Doesn't she care what they have to say?

What leaves me dissatisfied is that if MIL had always enjoyed moderate quantities of sweet things it would make sense that she'd eat more of them as other flavours diminished. It's that never having been bothered at all, not so you'd notice, she's now gorging. Or, at least, when I say gorging - she didn't wait as everyone else did until the Easter egg hunt was over, she started noshing as soon as she found her first one and kept going all the way through. She swiped somebody else's chocolate rabbit at the dining table (!). She was seeking reassurance that there was ice cream for dessert while we were still on our appetisers.

It's just so out of character. Not the being a bit selfish part, I'm sorry to say, but the undignified gluttony in front of other people part, and for childish sugary stuff.

I think something's gone wrong in her brain. If anyone knows of any really authoritative sources working on this I'd be grateful and will try again to pass them on. Otherwise, then it'll have to be a case of "not my circus", I'm afraid.
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When my Mom was in memory care, they asked me at admission about food preferences, how she took her coffee, etc. She had her coffee black/no sugar for well over 30 years. They offered her milk and sugar and she said 'yes, certainly'. This was how she had it when she was a MUCH younger woman. Did your MIL like sweets when she was younger?
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My Mom also has only recently wanted candy constantly. Chocolate to be exact.

She is 90. She is underweight. I figure at this point...anything I can do to increase her calories is good. Boost with chocolate syrup and ice cream in the blender..... chocolate deserts after dinner. I throw vitamins into the cake mix...add a little extra buttermilk to the drink...anything to up the calories...
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There's a couple of things here but yes, this should be reported to her primary.

There is certainly evidence that our taste buds diminish as we age and sweet things apparently still taste good even as this happens. There is a strong link between Alzheimers and diabetes, if you do any reading on Alzheimers.net, you'll see articles about that.

CM, is there any chance that SIL will listen to you?
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