My mother-in-law lives in Assisted Living. Circulation is about shot in her right leg and both feet are swollen to the point they popped. Any suggestions?

The source of this problem must be addressed! Get medical attention for her as soon as possible.

I understand completely, Alice. We can provide all the opportunities, but can't make people do things. It is frustrating.

Good grief, she should be on diuretics and have a hospital bed to elevate the legs, plus a recliner to do the same. Daily cleaning is needed to avoid sepsis. Without rapid intervention she will lose both feet. Call the MD and have orders written for the ALF to do this. Written orders are a must.

It sounds like you've already done the caring, loving things to do. It is very painful to see someone we love being self-destructive. Is she still competent to make her own (wrong) decisios? If so, there is not much you can do.

That her shoes don't fit is no longer your problem. Sorry. :(

What Pam & Jeanne said. I wouldn't worry about shoes as much as I would about getting the edema down. It sounds like she needs to be on Lasix, as well as doing other things to get the circulation to her limbs right.

A doctor who cannot get gout and oedema under control, coupled with an overworked NP, in a setting that does not provide sufficient support with ADL, does not amount to "very good." Rather than expecting his mother to help herself, your husband should be seeking a more appropriate living environment for her and I agree that for the purpose of getting her back on her feet properly an NH or rehab sounds about right. I am not suggesting for one second that this is or should be your problem, let alone your fault, but your MIL needs more help than she is getting. QED.

Thanks for all the great answers and support. Yes she does have a lift chair and a special pillow to raise her feet above her heart at night. She sits in the lift chair, but will only raise her feet part way. She threw out the pillow the first night it arrived. She is on medication and is under a doctor's care, plus there is a nurse at her Assisted Living. In addition to the edema she has gout. They don't seem to do specialized diets there and she will not avoid things that inflame her gout. She seems to take pride in doing nothing to help herself. The facility has walking path, exercise programs, but she will not participate. I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle. My husgand is disgusted with her and the other son ignores her.

Alice, if your husband has ever had gout he will know how excruciatingly painful it is. I'm not surprised your MIL isn't keen on going for walks, and she probably found the pillow unbearable. Gout can also be a side effect of some medications, by the way, so it isn't just a matter of her passing on the port and over ripe cheese.

Clearly you and the family are doing all you can in terms of providing her with activities and comfort, but my question is: what in the blazes is her MD doing? The doctor's care you mention is… unimpressive, to judge by these results. Ask searching questions.

Like lou8 said, I think she should be in a hospital setting to get this under control. Never mind the shoes right now.

Yeah, she's not connecting the dots between take her gout pills and her foot hurting like h-e double hockey sticks, which it probably does. That instinct to just rest and not use a painful or weak affected body part can become deadly if given it to for long enough. That's 70% of rehab - making people use it so they don't lose it.