Hello, my MIL takes care of her 95yo very controlling and whining grandmother and a husband after a stroke. She also babysits our 1,5 yo daughter 2 times per week. Every time we mention taking off the last task and sending our girl to a day-care, she has tears in her eyes. Apparently this is what breaks the mundane and depressing routine in their house. My husband and I both have full-time jobs and we cannot offer much help apart from weekends. Anyway any help that is more than delivering grocery or giving a lift is dismissed. MIL lives in a big house and running it overwhelms her even more with every year. She has two brothers living nearby, who visit every now and then for a cup of tea, but in fact they keep themselves in a safe distance from their mother and their sister does all the everyday struggle by herself. Also my FIL has three brothers, but they never were close, and since he lost his speaking ability almost entirely, it is awkward to relatives to be in touch with him. My husband's brother, lives in the same city, but due to his therapy he cut himself off completely. So basically this all down to the two of us. My MIL is not the kind of person who would speak openly about what her needs. Also she does not want to bother anyone. We do not want to push her to admit she needs help and that she should take care of herself more, because we realize we cannot be around on a regular basis, without loosing in other important areas (like job or us-time for example). We wonder about two things: how to be more effective in offering help, without being pushy and second: how to maintain balance without feeling guilty. Any advice?