I have a feeling the hospital did us major wrong. I know we don't know what we are doing with major care yet. And I don't like thinking that bc I honor health care people and teachers. Two things I could never do. But we put in a message to her pcp who is also my husband's instead of calling the front desk and he actually just called back. He looked at what the hospital sent him and she actually has major blockage in one of her arteries which could also be causing the major weekness. The hospital had never even mentioned that to us. So she is going to see the pcp this evening. He squeezed us in there. And it sounds like she will be heading to a hospital again for the blockage. We are going to see if she can be refered to a different hospital. freqflyer - my motherinlaw doesn't do much other than sit in her chair and watch her favorite shows. We are used to her not doing much. She came 5 years ago and she sat. We make her do certain things for herself but it has been a major struggle. We're just used to her sitting but she could always walk down the hall to the bathroom using her walker and get up to make herself coffee and use the microwave. She's had stomache issues before due the the Chrohn's. But when she came back she couldn't stand up to get herself up on the portable pot that is right next to her chair. I don't think she's on any new meds. She is super weak. I'm thinking it is a combo of being on a liquid diet and laying around for 5 days and the artery issue is a giant concern that we weren't aware of. How do you look at her chart.....probably by registering online with the hospital. I'm going to look at her discharge papers and see if I can do that. I have a feeling they didn't get her up. She wouldn't have been able to do it. I asked my husband how he got her into the car. He helped her from the wheel chair into the car like he always does. It is always a struggle. We've asked her to excersise, walk around more, she refuses. My husband leveled out the back yard so she could go out and sit from the back door that he put in and she won't. Anyways I'm rambling at this point. I guess I'm not used to having someone to listen to all of this. Hopefully we will have help when she goes in to the pcp this evening. Thank you so much everyone!
Take it from someone who has been through the whole "loved one in hospital and refusing rehab" multiple times in the past year, she VERY LIKELY refused rehab or LIED and told the discharge planner she was going home with family and would have multiple family members helping and looking after her. Medicare will pay for home health. Get the maximum amount of assistance you can get. Whatever you do, do not DARE lift or pull on her dead weight, no matter if she has fallen or what. The last thing in the world you need is a back injury! Get with the discharge planner again and find out what all she is eligible for regarding home health, durable equipment - wheelchair, hospital bed, shower seat, etc.
And the next time she is in the hospital, and it sounds like it will be soon, DEMAND to speak with discharge planning and communicate that under no uncertain terms are you available or equipped to take care of her.
WeNeedHelp, I would be curious if the physical therapist at the hospital had a chance to work with Mom-in-law. Hospitals like to get the patient up and out of bed as quickly as possible. Thus, use a walker and gait belt for a short walk around the the hospital. It should be noted on your Mom-in-law's chart.
If yes, it is curious why now your Mom-in-law doesn't want to stand or walk. Maybe the medicine is making her feel light-headed or dizzy.
Unfortunately, WeNeedHelp, live and learn. Sounds like everyone dropped the ball here. Yes, you should absolutely accept home health care/therapy for her. That may be all you’ll get. These people can show you how to care for her. But if she’s one of those perpetually needy people, you’ll both burn out sooner than later and your married and home life with along with it. Hopefully the therapists will see she needs more care than you and they can provide and help you put in for a rehab stay for her.
Now you know, for future hospitalizations, speak up! Good luck with all this and come back to let us know how it turns out.
freqflyer that sounds like us. Now we know better. I wish to goodness the hospital had explained this to us. My husband and I are having a nervous breakdown. Since we are self employed any loss of work time is very painful and scary. His Mom is one of the you are supposed to take care of and do everything for me mindsets. My husband is an only child and has no other relatives near us. We are what she's got. Thank you again everyone. Super appreciate it.
WeNeedHelp, your Mom-in-law needs physical therapy to regain her strength, and that is so important.
Another time my Dad was in the hospital he opted for Rehab, this time my Mom didn't refuse. Dad said the Rehab was so much better, as he had machines he could use to regain his strength. And he could go to the gym area to use the stationary bike or use the weights. There were enough physical therapists there to keep an eye on him.
What is interesting, my Dad would do better if the therapist was a young pretty woman :) And one time my Mom needed physical therapist, she had a very nice young fellow that Mom would pepper her conversations with how great "Paul" was with her therapy.
Can the pcp qualify her for the 21 day rehab since she wasn't in the hospital? We just talked to the hospital and they said they would set us up for the home care. I'm honestly saying that no one talked to us about this. The doctor was supposed to call and never did. But we were more concerned about him calling about surgery. Now I am suspicious that she refused therapy. My husband would visit her in the evenings and they released her on a Sunday. She has Crohn's disease so stomache issues are not a new thing. I really appreciate everyone's help in taking their time to write answers. One last thing, should we go ahead and accept the home care through the hospital, or should we wait to see if she can get into a 21 day rehab center through her pcp? Would accepting the home care mess that up in any way?
WeNeedHelp, check your Mom-in-law discharge papers to see what information is given.
I have a feeling, also, that your Mom-in-law refused to go live in Rehab, but she may have said she will have physical therapists come to the house. See if in the paperwork there is a list of at-home therapists for you or her to call to set up appointments.
I went through something similar with my Dad after he left the hospital. Since Dad and Mom were of clear mind, they made the decision that Dad would not go live in Rehab until he regained his strength. I knew nothing about this until a month later. Mom thought she could make Dad well again, that was her "job". Much to her surprise it wasn't working. Oh really??? My Mom was in her 90's.
Hospital should have assisted you with setting up rehab and/or formulating some kind of plan for a person in the condition you describe. I'm amazed that you were able to get her in the car to bring her home. That being said, many people are also discharged from rehab before they really should be - but at least it's a little better than being booted from the hospital with no support. Sounds like the right hand did not know what the left hand was doing at that hospital and your loved one slipped thru the cracks and got discharged home instead of rehab. I supposed it's possible she refused rehab, but I would think hospital would have made some waves with the family if that were the case. You said you have a call in to social work & that's fine, but it sounds like you have a serious safety risk on your hands in the immediate future, so you need to stay on the phone and keep moving up the chain until you get someone at the hospital who knows what to do.
I’m with Countrymouse. I think there's a piece missing here. If Mom was released into your care, didn’t you have any contact with the hospital social worker, discharge planner, doctor, nurses, or anyone else? It was a surprise to you when you got her home on Sunday and she was unable to do for herself? I have the funny feeling Mom refused rehab, and I’m surprised you weren’t told that either, and also that nobody at the hospital, if they knew your situation, approached you about home health care. Perhaps Mom told them she was going to a home with 2 adults and also young adults and that they would help her, and they took her word for it. The problem now is that Mom will have to be readmitted and that could be tough since she was deemed well enough to be released. She can’t just go back to the hospital and have a redo. If she’s not formally admitted, Medicare won’t pay for rehab.
In all my husband’s many hospitalizations, I have always sat with the staff who were caring for him and given a rundown of what he would need before discharge. There were no surprises. Home health care was ordered and durable medical equipment was arranged for delivery before he got home. However, my husband was very amenable to all this and I was there every day and available for any conversations needed about his current or future care.
She was in the hospital from Tuesday and released on Sunday. She had a stomach blockage and a tear in her stomache. Up until now she has been able to slowly get around to go to the bathroom herself and say get up to make herself coffee. She refuses to do anything else to build her strength up. When we got her home Sunday it was enourmous shock that she wasn't capable of even standing on her own. Maybe we seem stupid. But the hospital didn't say anything and my husband is a contractor that is trying to keep an enourmous job running and we also have 3 kids at home, one graduating. So all of this is new to us. My husband is getting ready to go call the Hospital discharge, thank you for recommending that and we weren't able to get an appt with her pcp until Friday. We did that yesterday. We're going to keep calling the pcp to see if any sooner appts open up. I'm so upset the hospital did not recommend rehab. But this is a learning exp. And I know we need to be her and out own advocate. We also had a call in to social workers and they were supposed to call the surgeon that looked at her but we haven't heard back from them either.
Call the discharge department today and find out if she is eligible for rehab. She would need to have been an admitted patient for 3 days. Observation status doesn't count.
Otherwise, take her to her PCP and get home health care and PT ordered asap.
Wondering why hospital didn’t release her directly to rehab? My dad has been down this route several times. Any hospitalization causes a big setback for him in his physical abilities and causes a need for rehab. The hospital social worker finds a rehab facility with an open space and he is directly transferred there, generally for the 21 days Medicare allows. How was this need missed by hospital? Can you contact her doctors about this now?
And the next time she is in the hospital, and it sounds like it will be soon, DEMAND to speak with discharge planning and communicate that under no uncertain terms are you available or equipped to take care of her.
If yes, it is curious why now your Mom-in-law doesn't want to stand or walk. Maybe the medicine is making her feel light-headed or dizzy.
Now you know, for future hospitalizations, speak up! Good luck with all this and come back to let us know how it turns out.
Another time my Dad was in the hospital he opted for Rehab, this time my Mom didn't refuse. Dad said the Rehab was so much better, as he had machines he could use to regain his strength. And he could go to the gym area to use the stationary bike or use the weights. There were enough physical therapists there to keep an eye on him.
What is interesting, my Dad would do better if the therapist was a young pretty woman :) And one time my Mom needed physical therapist, she had a very nice young fellow that Mom would pepper her conversations with how great "Paul" was with her therapy.
I have a feeling, also, that your Mom-in-law refused to go live in Rehab, but she may have said she will have physical therapists come to the house. See if in the paperwork there is a list of at-home therapists for you or her to call to set up appointments.
I went through something similar with my Dad after he left the hospital. Since Dad and Mom were of clear mind, they made the decision that Dad would not go live in Rehab until he regained his strength. I knew nothing about this until a month later. Mom thought she could make Dad well again, that was her "job". Much to her surprise it wasn't working. Oh really??? My Mom was in her 90's.
Another key is for you to refuse to lift her and move her and possibly injure yourself.
Keep us updated!
In all my husband’s many hospitalizations, I have always sat with the staff who were caring for him and given a rundown of what he would need before discharge. There were no surprises. Home health care was ordered and durable medical equipment was arranged for delivery before he got home. However, my husband was very amenable to all this and I was there every day and available for any conversations needed about his current or future care.
Who signed for discharge?
Call the discharge department today and find out if she is eligible for rehab. She would need to have been an admitted patient for 3 days. Observation status doesn't count.
Otherwise, take her to her PCP and get home health care and PT ordered asap.