Mother-in-law 94 years old being evicted from apt. Cannot take care of self refuses nursing home. What can I do? - AgingCare.com

Mother-in-law 94 years old being evicted from apt. Cannot take care of self refuses nursing home. What can I do?

Follow
Share

She stopped cooking for herself months ago, uses walker, and lives on second floor, so she crawls up the stairs. Tried three years ago to get her into senior citizen high rise, she refused, it was a done deal. Her two sons are incapable of taking care of her for they have their own medical issues they are dealing with also the homes are two stories and would need constant help. I know she is nursing home medically eligible, for I worked in that field for 34 years. How do I go about handling this sticky situation. She is nasty and uncooperative and we live two states away.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
5

Answers

Show:
Have you asked her what HER plans are after she is evicted? You clearly have an idea of what is necessary, but hearing her out might go a long way to understanding her position. When you talk to her try to have a few options available to offer her and let her choose if it is possible. If the problem is funds if will narrow the choices but she may feel like she is more in control if offered even one choice. Clearly her safety is of utmost concern.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Contact Adult Protective Services in the town where she lives and tell them what you have written here. Tell them that she has no family that is able to be there to help. I think that it is past the time to consider her opinions about where she should live. The main priority should be her safety and care.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Blannie gives good advice here. If sons can't take care of her or are afraid to step in because she's ornery...and I'm familiar with that...I'd research some options in her area for her. Considering finances she might be able to go to AL or a group home for seniors.

Assume you've had conversations with her and it is understandable she doesn't want to go to a NH if she is still functional and just needs minimal assistance with meals and activities. There should be alternatives.

If you can't go in person, then call her local center for aging or senior services and ask their advice. A geriatric case manager or APS may need to be called in especially if eviction is in play. Regardless, they should still be alerted to her situation.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Call her local County Dept of Health and Social Services so they can check in and see how she is doing. Does anyone have POA?

This situation sounds exceptionally dire and I am really surprised that action has not been taken earlier, quite frankly.

Her sons sound rather selfish. Clearly considering options for their mother's care should have been discussed and planned for MANY years ago. You sound like you are the only one in the family who has any degree of a moral compass.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Why is she being evicted from her apartment - is she out of money? What's her cognitive state - is she still mentally capable? Sounds like someone needs to be there physically to get her into another place. If you can't do it, get someone from the state where she lives involved (through senior services). At this point, it doesn't much matter what she wants, if she can't take care of herself, she needs to be in a facility where she can get the help she needs. If she has funds, I'd look into a geriatric care manager where she lives as a first step to getting her some help.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Related
Questions