So many issues...

1st off the caregivers while sitting with my mother speak the Filipino language amongst themselves in front of her. Is this proper to do and is this making things more confusing to her?

2nd when in the wheelchair they keep her with a seatbelt so she can’t get up when she wants to do something besides sitting there. Is this right to do and can they force her to sit?

Is this taking away her dependence of being herself?

3rd They don't interreact with her on Memory Care, they just give her a stack of cards and expect her to know what to do with them.

When I suggest things to these caregivers about these issues they just ignore me. My mother has fallen 2 times now due to caregivers and still do not take the correct measurements of safety precautions for this not to happen again. There is a sitting alarm on the chair but they don’t use them and no other family members are addressing this and again they ignore me.

There are so many more issues and I seem to be the Devil to my Siblings because I see this on the cameras and they say nothing to the caregivers about these things and I’m the bad person.

Please help

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Who has POA? If you, then you make the decisions. If one of your siblings, then not much you can do.

If you have POA can Mom go to a nice AL. It maybe more pleasant then dealing with caregivers that don't seem to be "caring".

You may just have to suck it up. Do what you can for Mom. Learn to ignore siblings or learn to stick up for yourself and Mom. Try not to get worked up, that's what they want. I have been there.

Dialysis takes its toll on the body. Especially a 91 yr old. Enjoy Mom while u can. When she passes, you can go on with ur life and never talk to ur siblings.
Helpful Answer (2)

That group of caregivers are taking advantage of you. They have repeatedly demonstrated a lack of respect for both you and your mother. They are not care giving, they are taking. Taking advantage of your timid personality. Make sure all legal documents are up-to-date and correctly executed. If your stated instructions and wishes are not being carried out, find another facility or another At Home service. Square you shoulders, raise your head, look them directly in the eyes and in a firm tone explain what is expected and what will not be tolerated. Your mother needs your strength. She loves you and you need to return that love by doing the best you can for her. It is not easy, but the reward of being her champion is priceless. You can do it. Good Luck.
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I’m confused. Is Mom in a facility or are these caregivers coming to her/your home? If they’re paid, private caregivers in the home, they should certainly be doing more than giving her a deck of cards, restraining her in her wheelchair and jabbering in a language she doesn’t understand in front of her. Even in a facility this isn’t right. Even with dementia and PD, she needs some sort of interaction with others. If she’s in a facility, she should be taken to their activities even if she just observes. If in the home, she should perhaps have a therapist come out and work with her.

If a facility, call a Care Conference and discuss your concerns. If at home, call the manager of the agency..
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Thank you for your response

Mom is at home and I feel conspiracy is against me With the caregivers and with my family members that I feel they are purposely belittling me . Why cant others see what’s going on I’ll I’m trying to do is to give back what my parents gave to me.

My sisters lie about so many things to me just to get me worked up but funny as it is I’m the one there more than them because their enjoying their life while I sit back and take the abuse they give to me and let these caregivers get away with it.

i just told one of the caregivers not to leave mom alone 2 weeks after that she fell so hard and hit her head
his 1st response was to call my sisters not 911

sonetimes i I wonder if my sisters want her to die. Because they are not correcting any of these issues with them because the accidents continue to happen

do I just walk away .. But I can’t I love them way to much and a couple of the caregivers are brain washing my father who is 92 on Dialysis that I’m causing problems

why why it’s about them no one believes me

See 1 more reply
#1 You need to request the powers that be that the caregivers speak English when around Mom.

#2 Where I live seatbelts are considered a restraint. Unless the resident can get out of them, they r not to be used.

#3 Aides don't usually have time to keep residents occupied. Iif they are just siitting around, they r not busy enough. There r usually activity directors who set up activities. Bring this up again to the powers that be.
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