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Mom has been on Fesoterodine and Amitriptyline. Nothing working, she is up every 20 to 30 mins all night. Looking for anything that may have helped! She isnt sleeping, therefore neither am I.

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There are medications that help with that. Find an Urologist that Specializes in that area. My husband is much better since starting the meds she prescribe.
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Reply to TomUs225
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Has she tried Vesicare? Also test for a U.T.I. and if she has one, she can try OTC Azo. A urinary tract infection can cause one to have to urinate often.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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Two suggestions. The first is that frequent urination often means that the bladder is not emptying fully, so a little top-up makes you want to go. This is a common problem for men with minor prostate issues, and there is a drug to help – I just can’t remember its name. Check that option with the doctor.

The second is to stop her needing to leave the bed and be taken to the toilet. There is a less-common female version of the male plastic urinal bottle, very very common in hospital use. The female bottle version costs about $10, and it has a funnel-shaped attachment that goes on top of the male bottle. I got one for my sister, who can stand up OK but has trouble walking to the toilet. She could get out of bed (and she has rails everywhere) and use this thing standing by the bed. It then sits flat on a sill and doesn’t tip over. Depending on mobility, you could probably use it kneeling on the bed. Your mother sounds as though she may be capable mentally of working that out.

For your own sleep in the day time, I hope that you have ear plugs and an eye shade. My niece was working night shifts in a noisy flat, and was clear that she would never be able to sleep during the day without them. You might need a vibrating ‘bell’ in bed if you are worried about her.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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You did mention you test for UTI - in addition, has a culture test been done? Sometimes there can be a UTI that isn't detected by the dip stick testing. One such cause is over-hydration, which can dilute the urine. I would ask for a urine culture.

Our mother's first UTI after moving to MC resulted in severe sun-downing. She was out of control later afternoon/early evening, but fine in the morning. Of course this started on a Friday evening, after office hours! We had to treat the UTI and give her Lorazepam (anti-anxiety) in the afternoon to ward off the sun-downing. The nice thing about this med is generally you know the first time whether it works or not - no need for it to build up in her system! Once the UTI was done, we didn't continue the medication.

The next two UTIs presented themselves as night-time bed-wetting. No sun-downing, no problem during the day, but she would soak herself and the bed at night. Once the UTI was treated, bed-wetting stopped. The nurse made the connection when the second episode started, so now she's aware of it and will get her tested ASAP!

As to medications, no matter what they are for, they affect different people in different ways. Sometimes one has to try multiples before finding one that works (or doesn't cause unwanted side-effects.) What works for some doesn't for others. After heart valve replacement, the medication dad was supposed to take for the rest of his life only lasted a few months and after cutting the dosage over and over it was stopped, replaced by baby aspirin! While in extended hospital stay, the heparin (very common, long-used medication) they were shooting me with was resulting in increased platelets (should reduce them, thereby reducing chances of blood clots) and finally with a hematoma - the shots stopped at that point and the platelet count returned to normal, as it was before admission!

So, in addition to checking for other issues, a urine culture would be a simple thing to try. Medication changes will take time, but might help resolve the issue, if UTI isn't the underlying cause.) In the meantime, would a bedside commode help at all, making a bathroom "trip" easier for her and not require you to get up?
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Reply to disgustedtoo
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JCMOM15 Feb 12, 2020
Thank you, yes she has chronic uti's and each time a culture is done. I really think it will be figuring out the right combination of meds. Just hope it happens sooner than later!
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My husband had this but 50 mg of Myrbetriq has helped tremendously! Urologist started him out with 25 mg but it didn’t work as well but the 50mg does the trick. He has been on it for a year now with no side effects. It seemed expensive so I ordered it from Canada. Much lower. Used reputable company.
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TekkieChikk Feb 12, 2020
My husband has been taking this, too, since last fall. Prostate surgery and then radiation years ago compromised the muscles of his bladder and he was constantly leaking. He participated in a pelvic therapy program at our local hospital for several weeks last year to help strengthen the abdominal muscles, which also helped tremendously.

Our pharmacist signed him up for a Myrbetriq discount card because of the cost, so you might want to consider this yourself.
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She may have urge to go all the time because she is not emptying her bladder completely. My mom started Tamsulosin (from urologist) who tried that first instead of a surgery to enlarge the tube that exits the bladder. It solved the UTI problems that were happening almost every month.
If you haven't seen a urologist, they can do a test to determine if emptying bladder is the problem and offer you some treatments.
I've read other posts on this site where dementia is the bottom line. It's more of an OCD issue where they think about going to pee and make a trip to the bathroom
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Reply to my2cents
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Same issue w/my 91 yo mom w/dementia. I had to see a cardiologist & wear a monitor because of horrible heart palpitations. Turned out to be from stress/lack of sleep. Mom has sleep apnea, but refuses to treat it. We ruled out UTI, and also noted that during the day, especially when she’s busy or on outings, she can go 2 hours w/o a bathroom break. We decided it was more of an anxiety issue so put her in Depends & tried the 2 common anti-psychotic drugs to help w/sleep. After trying different dosages of each, found that 3/4 of a low dose seroquel worked for her. Over time, she went from being up every 20mins to 1 hr all night long, to a good 7-8 hour stretch most nights. She does wake groggy, a bit weaker, and I think the med has hastened mental decline, but as my cardiologist told me, the goal at this point in her life should be comfort for both her & me rather than life extension. I had gotten to the point of either death by heart failure or wanting to jump off a cliff. I know my mother would be devastated if she knew what her condition was doing to me & the family, so I have comfort in knowing that even though it might not be a “perfect” solution, giving her this med was the best decision for all. Btw ... she’s only wet the Depends 3 x’s in almost all year, so sleeping longer/deeply didn’t cause incontinence. She’s also taking Zoloft & gabapentin during the day (for anxiety & pain), and magnesium glycinate or citrate before bed. I think the magnesium also helps a lot for anxiety & sleep.
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Reply to DMRamirez
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JCMOM15 Feb 12, 2020
Thank you! Will give it a try!
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ABRI FORM DIAPERS for nighttime are good. They really work. A bit more expensive, but they hold quite a bit. Aunts caretaker says she changes her 2 times a day, and a fresh one at night. This is not the answer you are looking for, but perhaps it will help in some way, and the bed pads/chucks.
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Reply to MAYDAY
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Have you spoken with her physician regarding a medication specifically for overactive bladder? There are several available one of them is myrbetric. Another intervention that you may want to consider is limiting fluid intake prior to bedtime. If you are willing and your mom is able to go to an appointment, you may want to have her evaluated by a urogynecologist or a nurse practitioner who specializes in incontinence and urinary dysfunction.
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Reply to Peanuts56
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JCMOM15 Feb 12, 2020
All of the above has been done. She has bern on myrbetric in the past without success. 5pm is her last fluid intake. She is under the care of a urogyncologist. All frustrating.
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My 96 year mom is on oxybutynin 5mg twice a day. Works for her thank God.
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Reply to Missfideldd
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My mom had the same issue after her stroke.She needed a one person assist while walking so everytime the urge hit.She called.
Sometimes she actually went ,but more often than not it was a false alarm.Bladder fine etc.More of a brain disconnect if you ask me.

She would wear depends at night but refused to use them unless she
had no choice.Hence getting up numerous times af night.I was a walking zombie ,and had to explain to her that I needed my rest so I could be my best for me and her.

We came to an understanding that before I went to bed. I'd take her to the bathroom and once during the night Any in between would have to be done in her depends.

It was quite the experience.You aren't alone and I wish you well.
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Reply to Concerned43
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My mother was recently put on Oxybutynin by a urologist. Previously she had been on Myrbetric. She claims she is better off now.

I agree with others and fear that a certain amount of problems could be due to her mental state. My mother has short term memory issues. She doesn't communicate well about medical issues. She now wears incontinence briefs all the time.

If your mother wears those and does not drink excess liquid close to bedtime that might be the best you can hope for although it would be helpful to have her tested by a urologist.
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Reply to Riverdale
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JCMOM15 Feb 7, 2020
Yes briefs 100% of the time. Last liquid is at 5pm with dinner. Even her night meds I give to her with a big spoonful of pudding. It's unbelievable how much can still can come out of her!
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We had the exact same issue with my mother!! Every 20 minutes....day and night! She had scans and cystography done, along with being put on Myrbetriq. There was nothing wrong with her kidneys or her bladder. It was all in her head! It all stopped when she was given Risperidone for her terrible anxiety. She had vascular dementia. I think she was afraid she wasn't going to make it to the bathroom in time and that led to the constant urge to go.
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Reply to Tiredandweary
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JCMOM15 Feb 7, 2020
Thank you, will look into this. On top of being on the Amitriptyline she also is on CBD oil with THC which for most should knock her out, but for some reason doesn't. It is so frustrating and exhausting. Did a urine sample this morning to rule out another UTI. It's unbelieveable and if I wasn't living it I am not sure I would believe someone could get up so much!
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If this isn't happening during the day too maybe this isn't really a bladder problem but a brain disconnect, perhaps a gerontologist would look a little farther for a different king of solution. I wonder if she could try wearing an incontinence product and taking something to zonk her out at night? Some people and doctors are resistant to sleep aids but her lack of sleep (and yours!) is likely already causing problems during the day and IMO has to be weighed against any worries about possible side effects of medication.
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Reply to cwillie
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JCMOM15 Feb 7, 2020
That is hitting the nail on the head! So during the day she goes a normal amount of times. Actually this morning I needed her to give me a urine sample and after a coffee, an Ensure and a glass of water she could barely give me a dribble. Should have made her give me the sample at 2am! I also think it is a mental disconnect of sorts. She does wear adult briefs 100% of the time and what she is on now should zonk her out and I don't know how it doesn't. She does not like to "go in her brief" and i think that is mentally a huge part of it. She can cat nap here and there (and trust me, I wake her so not to flip day and night) but I can't just sleep during the day.
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How is her sleeping when she's not going to the bathroom? I ask, because, people who have sleep apnea often have to urinate many times during the night. I realize that she's up in age, but, if that is the culprit, addressing that could resolve it. I'd at least explore it with her doctor.
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Reply to Sunnygirl1
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JCMOM15 Feb 7, 2020
When she is actually sleeping it is great. I personally feel like it a huge mental component to all of this. Trying to keep an open eye with the drugs etc, but it is so frustrating!
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Thanks, mom is under the care of a urologist. I have taken in logs I keep of when she gets up and what occurs at that time. Getting frustrated, but will try the salt intake. Thank you!
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Reply to JCMOM15
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I would check with her MD for a really good urologist. Something is wrong with this, as it is more than once an hour. It is really bad. Make certain MD understands how often this is. Make certain you have tried all the meds. One simple clue also is limiting salt intake, especially after noon time, as salt will cause more urination in the night time. Good luck. Mom might need a cystoscope exam. If so, as for some mild sedation for exam.
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