My mother has recently moved to a memory care assisted living facility. She had and apparently still has a shopping obsession. She doesn't need anything, nor does she have room for more things or more clothes, but every time I talk to her, she has thought of something else (usually clothes) that she "needs". I have limited her credit card to $150 a day, and she is still able to go shopping if a friend takes her. I am trying to find a way to redirect her shopping obsession to something beneficial, or at least benign. Oh, and her vision is poor. Any suggestions?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
If you are her DPOA, you really have an obligation to ensure that she's not wasting money. Allowing her to keep cards, increase limits or create debt that is not in her best interests has to be dealt with. I wouldn't just wait and try to get her on board, I'd just get it straight. I'd stress this to the MC and whatever friends who would support something like that. I'd be careful of friends taking a dementia patient out of an MC. It sounds like they may not fully appreciate the situation. Is she buying them gifts, too? People who are able to make sound choices are not in MC units, so, I be extremely picky about who she spend money with. If you think that $150.0 is sufficient, then that's what I make arrangements for. She may just not be able to process that she has a budget. It's likely too much for her to understand or abide by.
Helpful Answer (2)

You must have mean per month on that 150.00 I am thinking, not per day; please correct if I am wrong. I think that I would let her spend whatever you think is a reasonable allowance on whatever she likes, but I would not let her have any change cards, and would hope she never discovers the home shopping channels on the TV. If she likes games I have known some elders to get so into some of those number tile games that they won't move from the dining area where it is set up for games in the cottage my brother stays in at his Assisted Living. You might talk to whoever is the activities director at her assisted living and throw yourself upon their mercy to set up another direction for her. At my bro's place one lady is very into clipping flowers for vases in the dining area of their cottage, and she always loved gardening, so it's a good outlet. But some are shoppers all their lives, and that's an obsession hard to break.
Helpful Answer (2)

Did I read this correctly? $150 a day for “pin” $?
Your mom living in MC has ability to spend $150 a day via her credit cards?

Not to sound harsh, but why, oh why would you even allow this to be something she can do? If your her DPOA, that has a required fiduciary duty to deal with her finances responsibly for her future and you can shut down those CC and instead give her perhaps 3 $100 gift cards each month for abit, then move it to 3 $75 then 3 $50.

$150 day = $ 4,500.00 a month. $55k a year.

If she’s wealthy and has $500k - 1M set aside, totally liquid to pay for her care for another 5+ years, then I take it all back and I sincerely apologize. Yes let your Empress spend to her hearts content but get her into an only private pay facility that has her in an en-suite room & does seasonal storage of clothes & mini safe deposit boxes for jewelry on site. If she’s gonna be spending $, it’s best she’s in a place that’s filled with lots of other equally wealthy old Empresses, so they get all dressed up for meals, have spa days, do shopping excursions. The type of place that has all sorts of perks, like car service, fur storage, lots of aides, etc for 11k-30k a mo or more depending on where you live.

But if she doesn't have right now $$$$ in the bank for her future care, you need to stop the spending so it’s there for her future needs. You think you’re hearing requests now, omg wait till she’s impoverished and on Medicaid having to share a room with a....STRANGER! I’ve known a couple of these, the type that could make the Empress Carlotta look sane. You have to take charge on this and set the fixed terms on her spending; since she just moved to MC it is as good a time as any as her life is being reset for her future and her spending is part of this.

if your are not her DPOA, please please meet with an attorney on her behalf to see about becoming her dpoa (if she’ll go along with it) or what you need to get guardianship. Otherwise it will be a train wreck if & when she runs out of $.
Helpful Answer (3)

WoW! That is some kind of a daily limit, $4,500 a month. I guess if she can afford this and it won't affect her future it really doesn't make any difference. If it will, I would cut her down to $50 a day if tis continues and since she is is in MC, I would petition for guardianship, thus you can manage her money for her.
Helpful Answer (0)

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter