Mother has a gambling problem. Any advice?

That'll quite be a challenge. But i'd probably just go directly to her. I'll lend her only if it's for chemo. If it really can't be helped and i have spare, i'll let her continue on gambling with only limited budget. If it's something too much for me, i'll tell her straight to just do chemo.

me and my senior dad gamble online but he strictly set him budget for it. Play within the budget.

If she is on medications check the side effects. I believe there are some that will lead to addictive behaviors.

It's possible your mother doesn't see "playing these computer games" as gambling. It's not like it says it on the home screen, after all, is it? - "this site is for dedicated gamblers and we aim to take all your money, have fun!"

The reason I sympathise with your mother and am grinding my teeth at the online companies is that they KNOW computer games are addictive, they KNOW gambling itself is addictive, they carefully design their sites to make them difficult for a person to leave, and then they cry all the way to the bank when it comes to corporate social responsibility. I speak not as a gambler - gambling just stresses me out and I hate it - but certainly as someone who knows how hard it is to stop playing FreeCell and Spider Solitaire at two in the morning with a busy day ahead.

What about, looking at her computer setup. How is she accessing these sites? Is there anything clever you can do to block them, or unsubscribe her, or find gambling-free substitutes?

Did she enjoy real-world gambling and betting before computers came along, or is this something she's discovered only online?

thank you lealonnie1 I appreciate it!!

I feel for you, Elaine. It’s like living in a perpetual hell, waiting for the other shoe to drop. I’m so sorry that you are dealing with this crap. Hugs!

Thankyou!! Needhelpwithmom i did stop helping her. She won’t help herself. She’s 95 years old and nothing is ever her fault!!! It’s always everybody else’s fault!! I don’t give her a dime! She’s too old for help. She’s 95 and a gambling addict, a hoarder, ocd, and now she drinks alcohol every night. She never drank Alcock before Until she couldn’t drive anymore. That was 3 years ago she stopped driving. She is still fiercely independent!!

Sis,

Gambling is legal in nearly all 50 states. In Louisiana where I live the state insisted before we accepted gambling as a legal activity that part of the proceeds would be used to fund a rehabilitation facility for gambling addiction. It’s called CORE. It’s an intensive 30 day stay at the rehab. It’s completely free for the addict.

What does that tell you? Yes, gambling can become a habit just like any other addiction, drugs, alcohol, shopping, etc.

Thank you all for your advice I know I have to stop helping her. It s really hard for me when I am all she has I just have to be strong and tell her no

I am not morally opposed to gambling for those who do so responsibly. For those who become addicted that is a different story all together.

You are smart to know that she is lying and you don’t fall for her sob stories. All addicts lie.

They not only wreck their own lives but often they wreck the lives of others. Those involved have no choice but to distance themselves. For some people sometimes even hitting rock bottom won’t help. Others have an awakening and make positive changes. Addicts are always at risks for relapse.

Others can offer help in the way of support such as taking them to an addiction counselor or bringing them to a gambling anonymous support group.

They have to be ready to want that for themselves. If they don’t want it or aren’t ready due to whatever reason they will not accept the offer for help.

My brother had a serious drug addiction. He refused help. I had to accept that I couldn’t help him. Don’t fall into the trap of feeling like a failure because you were not able to reach them. It’s their problem. Don’t make it be about you.

My 95 year old Mother started her gambline addiction way back in 1992. That is when the stupid casion opened up. She gambled all of my fathers hard earned money away. He was still alive when he had to take her name off all of the bank accounts. He was a very successful business man who was a senior VP for a bank and she blew hundreds of thousands of dollars he told me. He said we are going to run out of money. He saved what little bit he could and then he died of cancer in 1998. She still gambles but all of her savings is gone. Every last dime. She has to live on her Social Security and half of my fathers pension. She makes approximately 30,000 a year now. She blows it all. Her house is paid for but it is falling apart. Needs a new roof, oh yeah, and she is a HOARDER too. Wont trhow a damn thing out!! I have never given her money. I give her a gift card for her birthday and christmas. My brother is rich and he won't give her any money either. She looks like she is homeless. She wears the same clothes over and over. She use to go to the laundromat but then she needed the quarters to GAMBLE with!! We use to have a bunch of off track betting sites around that she would go to. Now she just blows all her money on scratch off tickets. My son dropped her off at the casino last weekend for about 8 hours. Her insisting 8 hours. When he picked her up the security guard said she can't be left alone their anymore. She needs to hang on to everybody to go to the bathroom. She is 95 years old. There is not a damn thing i can do about it. So I don't do anything except take her to the doctors, bring her food a couple times of week. I don't call her anymore. She gets nasty. It's so hard. I know. I am living it now. Hugs to you!!

Don't give her another dime. The gig is up.

Set your boundary and stick to it. There are many free games out on the net, let her play those.

Just do not give her any money. She'll have to learn to live within her means, and if that means she has to quit online gambling, then so be it. As long as you (or anyone else) gives her money, you're enabling her to continue practicing her addiction. If she likes online games so much, there are plenty she can play for FREE, where she doesn't spend any money or win any money.

It's quite simple, really. She won't want to hear it, but oh well, that's how the cookie crumbles!

Stop giving her money. Plain and simple. Let her make her own bed & lie in it. If she’s mentally competent, she can make her own decisions and getting a POA FOR her won’t help. It won’t allow you to control her.0