Throughout my entire life she has been abusive verbally. (physically when I was younger) I have maintained a relationship with her based on my terms (when I can handle her and am in a good space myself). She now has a diagnoses of alzheimers, and while still living on her own, requires a lot of my time. She waivers from demanding to 'trying to be nice'. She has pushed away my daughter who was trying to help me out so I can get a break. (she is mean and verbally abusive to my daughter) She tells me she doesn't need the services (home care) I have arranged for her so she keeps cancelling them. I have been trying to catch some sort of break, and to be perfectly honest, at this time, if I could figure out a way to completely walk away, I would. For me, this runs deeper than her current disease - it is years of abuse and now she believes she has an excuse to be that way as she frequently says "i have alzheimers, you know. I can't help it." I am at a complete loss as to what to do? Has anyone experienced similar? How did you cope? Did you find a way to distance yourself without having to take a second mortgage out on the house?