Just had a thought: is it possible for someone to call her as the caregiver heads out and yaks with her until the next one shows up? That might be comforting to her during that lag time, plus ensure she's safely in her chair.
She likely forgets she already called pretty much every time .. and that you or anyone else just called her or visited. Just let it go to voice mail, answer some, say a brief hi, tell her to eat or nap, and that you'll call later.
YOU may know a caregiver's coming in very soon, but SHE will not.
With dementia, her short-term memory is likely only minutes long. She can't remember someone's coming. She only knows she's alone and likely very frightened.
I have a feeling, like usual, its the poster that is 65.
There comes a time when trying to keep them in their homes is no longer an option. If Mom can afford round the clock care, then maybe a AL would be better. For me, trying to keep a staff of round the clock caregivers going would be stressful.
The phone calls are not unusual and a number of our members complain about it. You are not going to get her to stop. She probably doesn't even remember doing it. If its a landline, unplug it. The Caregivers should gave phones for emergencies. Have the Caregivers tell her that something is wrong with the telephone lines and just waiting for a repairman. Ask the CGs not to allow her to use theirs. If you want to talk to her, ask the CGs to plug Moms phone back in.
You also don't have to answer when she calls. Let it go to voicemail with a nice message. "Sorry, not here at the moment so please leave a message".
Joann, the problem with unplugging the land line is that if there was a true emergency and she died because she couldn't call anyone it could very well cause some very unpleasant complications for the person that unplugged the only source of communication for a vulnerable senior. Just letting you know, because law enforcement won't care that she is burning up a phone line for 30 minutes daily, they will care that her source of help was knowingly and willingly removed.
At this point 1/2 alone is far to long. This woman obviously needs 24/7 care. Remaining home alone is not the solution when someone reaches these behaviors.
Is she calling that many times in the 30 minutes she is left by herself? Do you answer the phone? If she is alone she may be frightened. And depending on where she is in the dementia stage is it possible that she should not be left alone at all? (Trust me my Husband could escape the house and be nowhere in site in 5 minutes. He did that 3 times on me and I had police out looking for him, longest time he was gone was 13 hours!) Or is she calling while the caregivers are with her? They should be able to curtail calls, instruct them that unless it is urgent that you not be contacted while they are there. Is it possible that the caregivers are leaving early? Getting there late? So she is left alone longer than 30 minutes.
A side note here. Your mom is 65 according to your profile. That is pretty young and you are going to be doing this for a long time. My Husband was 64 when he was diagnosed and he died 12 years later. Are you prepared to care for your mom at home as she declines? If there is any possibility that she will be placed in Memory Care the sooner it is done the better so she can adjust more easily. Have you consulted with an Elder Care Attorney so that you can make decisions for her for Health Care and Finances? Is there a possibility that you will have to apply for Medicaid for her? There is a lot to handle.
With dementia, her short-term memory is likely only minutes long. She can't remember someone's coming. She only knows she's alone and likely very frightened.
There comes a time when trying to keep them in their homes is no longer an option. If Mom can afford round the clock care, then maybe a AL would be better. For me, trying to keep a staff of round the clock caregivers going would be stressful.
The phone calls are not unusual and a number of our members complain about it. You are not going to get her to stop. She probably doesn't even remember doing it. If its a landline, unplug it. The Caregivers should gave phones for emergencies. Have the Caregivers tell her that something is wrong with the telephone lines and just waiting for a repairman. Ask the CGs not to allow her to use theirs. If you want to talk to her, ask the CGs to plug Moms phone back in.
You also don't have to answer when she calls. Let it go to voicemail with a nice message. "Sorry, not here at the moment so please leave a message".
At this point 1/2 alone is far to long. This woman obviously needs 24/7 care. Remaining home alone is not the solution when someone reaches these behaviors.
(Trust me my Husband could escape the house and be nowhere in site in 5 minutes. He did that 3 times on me and I had police out looking for him, longest time he was gone was 13 hours!)
Or is she calling while the caregivers are with her? They should be able to curtail calls, instruct them that unless it is urgent that you not be contacted while they are there.
Is it possible that the caregivers are leaving early? Getting there late? So she is left alone longer than 30 minutes.
A side note here.
Your mom is 65 according to your profile. That is pretty young and you are going to be doing this for a long time. My Husband was 64 when he was diagnosed and he died 12 years later. Are you prepared to care for your mom at home as she declines? If there is any possibility that she will be placed in Memory Care the sooner it is done the better so she can adjust more easily. Have you consulted with an Elder Care Attorney so that you can make decisions for her for Health Care and Finances? Is there a possibility that you will have to apply for Medicaid for her? There is a lot to handle.