My Mother (87) had a stroke 2 years ago, was doing fine but now she won't eat. Why?

Heater, get her to an ER if this is a sudden change, she may have had another stroke.

It sounds like a major episode of depression. She has become aware that she is wearing adult pads, and that she has no awareness of having a bowel movement until after the fact. If she has any mental awareness, she realizes what a chore she is becoming and she is letting go. Nobody wants to be a burden to their child, and nobody wants to go to a nursing home. Are you able to have an end of life discussion with her to know what her wishes are? Everyone gave good advice about getting her to a doctor to be evaluated. If possible go to a gerontologist. They specialize in the elderly. This situation must have you really stressed out. Try to make some time for yourself so you don't burnout. Keep in touch and let us know what happens.

When one has a stroke the brain is deprived of its blood supply, and it will effect cognitive functioning unless the person got immediate care. If she has been stable for two years, as a nurse, I would tend to think depression is present and the beginnings of dementia. They usually go hand-in-hand. Take her to a neurologist to see what damage was done to the brain and what may be the cause of her symptoms now. My best to you both!

Get her to doctor. Might be time she goes into nursing home or in home care. You can't do it all by yourself.

I am a doctor and agree that this sounds like depression or dementia. Good luck with your journey!

Sounds like depression is kicking in. She needs to see a doctor right away.