My mother has started to give me a hard time when going to bed. What can I do?

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She's 87 and has dementia.

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Yea, this is common. Children don't like to go to bed either when they are 8 years old. Either do 35 year olds. I think what I get out of this already is that she is independent, is willing to defend the fact that she is still alive, and she does not have the energy to explain her reasons, either due to dementia, if it is officially been diagnosed.

You are not going to agree on even key points such as her going to bed at a normal time or hoping she aligns with your sleeping schedule, which makes it easier to be her caregiver or family member who cares.

Schedule is key, but don't expect it to work out as you see this as a simple task. I took this as she not wanting to go to bed, rather than you trying to go to bed and her being aggressive with you because you were leaving to go to bed.

Either way, sometimes people like to stay up once in awhile, and sleep-in. It affects their nutrition, the overall health. As long as it is not a habit, which if she has dementia, it probably is a continual habit has developed due to cognitive impairments.

You probably just have to let her get 7-9 hours sleep however she can get it. If she is sleeping until 1pm, then you should be concerned. If it just about not getting in bed or turning out the lights, that is part of the illness also. All types of ideas don't work, i.e. timers for lights or TV.

I guess my take is that if it is officially been diagnosed, dementia, just expect it to be a 24x7x365 year problem that can improve in some cases, stay the same, or just get worse. Just make you get sleep. If she is aggressive, then you are being dragged into that as an opponent, a game you probably won't win. So create a new plan. Changing too much for her can make things worse. Comfort, etc.

Who knows? She might not even realize she hasn't slept for the last month like normal people. Hard to change that schedule once it is firmly in place. Good luck!
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She gets very aggressive and doesn't want to move,also starts screaming
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A hard time in what regard?
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