Mother was financially exploited, manipulated, brainwashed by sister who is now bullying me. Is there anything I can do? -

Mother was financially exploited, manipulated, brainwashed by sister who is now bullying me. Is there anything I can do?


My poor stressed mother has recently passed and was financially exploited for complete frivolity living above means, by my sister living nearby her for years. Sister then felt completely entitled to intimidate & bully me each visit for obvious reasons, sometimes upsetting me so much to fly home early, note I live abroad. She brainwashed my vulnerable mom that I was a troublemaker & sucessfully got my mother to refuse my calls for many months during her last few years fighting cancer. I did not stress or hound mom throughout, but channelled my outrage to my oldersister after receving intermittant breakdown calls from mom when sister would seriously not return credit & bank cards, more extreme fin'l abuse, fights mom had with sis. Mom & sis would later deny to my brother that moms random cries for fin'l abuse took place, obviously mom's arm twisted manipulated, complying or social visits would stop etc as punished previously. I cannot mentally get over sis getting away with cutting mom off from me successfully to cover her greed & inflict pain nor brother's lack of action or wanting to address obvious financial trail supporting abuses but most of all bullying & severe mental pain caused purposely to me for years by sociopathic sister. We are at stage of Estate finalising. Brother does not want to lose social activities with nearby sis & family. Any advise would be gratefully received.

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I have realized there are two kinds of people in this world, those who are willing to step up and take action (you) and those who are more interested in 'going along to get along' (your brother). As a person of action (that's me too, by the way), it's frustrating to watch others stand by and take no action when you see something that's morally wrong. It's just the difference in people. You and your brother are different in this way.

Your only decision at this point is whether you want to maintain a relationship with your brother, given who he is and how he approaches life. Can you overlook the fact that he chose not to take action against your sister and didn't stand up for you against her bullying? Only you can decide that and weigh the overall value of your relationship with him against this "shortcoming" in your view.
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Thank you Katie. I am now additionally struggling with brother's  choice of agreeing previously all wrongdoingsbut again wont address now.  I agree, at one extreme time when the average monthly stealing equated to wiping out in a year nearly all of moms savings needed for caresupport costs, I suggested to older brother we seek outside help, but he said no, promised he'd handle. I also expected all manips & bullying to cease but didnt, no support given me. I regret not enough done. Now at estate handling when i was told by brother that sisters sins, financial ,& i specifically hoped mental manip abuse also would finally be recognised ,& admonished somehow , i have been told he wishesnot to, which is not morally right to all parties involved including me which should be considered. I can't accept mentally more allowances by my family for her sociopathic behaviour to me and witness without support to me. Thank you for the advice
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I am sorry for your loss. Now you have to decide how you will move forward. Brother also will make his own decisions.

The only advice I have is that you should have reported this abuse to the authorities long ago.

Your brother wants to keep contact...that is for him to decide. Since you live out of the country, avoiding contact would be easy if you choose,
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