My Mother doesn't want to relinquish control of medicines. Any advice? - AgingCare.com

My Mother doesn't want to relinquish control of medicines. Any advice?

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My mother lives in an assisted living facility. She became unable to handle her own meds so now the facility administers them to her. She was ok with it for a while but now she wants to handle it herself. The facility has said that if she doesn't cooperate she won't be able to stay there. How do I explain this so she'll understand and not be made to feel more paranoid?

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I never had this problem with my cousin, but when she was in regular assisted living, I saw other residents arguing and complaining about their meds. The staff seemed to stay calm and address their concerns. The trouble is the resident isn't likely to remember it the next day and thus the entire issue is started over.

My cousin did have trouble with other things like getting up or going to the dining room. I told her she had to because the doctor said so. It was the only way she would get better. Sadly, she couldn't remember that I told her that. So, the staff has to help with it each day. If they aren't willing to do that, I'm not sure what the answer is. I don't think they can force her to take it. HOWEVER, as someone upthead said, perhaps some medication could help reduce her paranoia.
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The facility will have to crush her meds and hide them in food. If that doesn't work have her family practitioner reevaluate her meds. There are drugs that will reduce anxiety and make her more compliant.
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"The doctor says". "Those are the rules here, Mom". Sadly, paranoia is common in many dementias. If this is a new feature in her thinking, you should report it to her doctor.

In her brief AL stage, my mother was convinced that the pharmacy techs were getting everything wrong. We moved her to Independent Living, where I filled her pill boxes once a week and she was able to self administer. Make sure that she NEED assisted living;my mother actually did not. It was assistance that she didn't need yet, and not enough of the TLC that she DID need.
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"Mom, the nurses here will be handling your medicines from now on. Stop giving them a hard time." To the ALF, call me if you have any further problems." To mom if they call you: "Mom! Your mind is laying tricks on you. Do you think for one little minute I would put them in charge of your medicines if I didn't trust them??? Listen to the nurse! Don't MAKE me come down there, you little rascal!"

Hope that works. Can't hurt.
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If she has dementia, you won't be able to explain anything that will,stick with her. Your only choice is to work with the staff at the facility and cajole, fib, trick or force her to go with the program. It gets to a point where we have to do what's necessary regardless of elders wishes. If she's not complaint about this issue she'll likely find something else.

My Dad refuses to let me or Mom go the doctor with him. He can't stand it that he's not in total control. But when he gets home he doesn't have the slightest memory of any details, prognosis etc, so tomorrow morning I've got to call his doc and find out what's going on. If he knew I was calling he'd haveva fit. Well too bad. That's just the way it is.
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