Mother doesn't need her portable commode but insists on having it. Any suggestions? - AgingCare.com

Mother doesn't need her portable commode but insists on having it. Any suggestions?

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This is kind of disgusting but it's driving me up the wall. The commode is ugly and it takes up too much space in her room in assisted living. She had one at home, because her path to the bathroom at night was a little tricky; but during daylight, she went to the bathroom. Where she is now, the path to her bathroom is actually shorter and clearer than her path to the portable commode. (She asked for it; the folks at assisted living didn't think she needed it.) Both I and her friends have encouraged her to get rid of it in order to make her room more attractive and to permit a better arrangement of her furniture and decor. Any suggestions?

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You are all such nice people! Thank you for your compassion and understanding of my mother. I'll try to take it to heart. (P.S. She was the one who first commented that it was unattractive. And the bathroom is equipped with a high toilet and arm rests. I guess she's just used to it.)
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Reply to realtime
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Hello
How wonderful to have your mother at 97! I, too was lucky to have mine until she was 99, and like everyone, they have their distinct preferences. Think of it this way, at this point in her life she has limited control over things. She likely lost a lot of her belongings in the move to assisted living, she may not have control over the schedule for meals, etc. This is something that she has chosen to assert her preference about and that may give her a sense of autonomy. It may not make sense (probably a lot of choices we make in a day wouldn't make sense to someone else, but we have the luxury of privacy and everyone doesn't see our idiosyncrasies) but it is her choice in her room.
I say let it go. Don't let a small thing create aggravation for either of you-or lead you to feel she is not being cooperative. No one can come into my home and tell me that they have a better idea to make my furniture and decor more attractive-let her have this win.
Best of luck,
Margaret
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Reply to Margaret916
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Maybe she's thinking of the "what if" times.....a bout of loose bowels or maybe just closer facilities during a debilitating illness or its *there* and no one needs to find one, as she gets weaker.

Really, if it being there gives her peace of mind (and nothing else), then keep it there. 

Make a pretty fabric cover for it and put a stained wood shelf (board) across the arm rests and put plants or pictures on it. Get creative, but leave it there.

If it makes her happy then you're happy too, right? 👩🏼 💺👵🏼
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Reply to SueC1957
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Joanne's idea is excellent but if Mom doesn't take to that idea leave the poor woman alone. It may be ugly and offend you but it is kind of a security blanket for Mom. Never mind what the people at AL think. She may not "need" it but she wants it. She has lost all control over her life and activities and this is one thing she can be stubborn about so let her have her way on this one. can you rearrange her room so it is less obvious? Remember this is Mom's life for the rest of her days.
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Reply to Veronica91
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I assume she's using it, is she? Don't suppose that's hugely popular with the staff, but it's not a big deal either compared to some of things they'll be used to, surely.

Maybe it's just the fit and feel of it that she's used to and she feels secure and comfortable. Which is pretty crucial when you're using it for its intended purpose, after all. I agree with Jeanne.
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Reply to Countrymouse
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She doesn't "need" it ... but does she use it? Or does she walk past it into her bathroom?

She is 97. I think her contentment is more important than if others approve of her room's decor.
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Reply to jeannegibbs
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JoAnn raises a good point, could it be that your mother prefers the height, width and the security of the built in armrests?
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Reply to cwillie
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Put it over the toilet. There is a bar across the back, remove it. In place of the bucket, put a splatter guard. Looks like a bucket with the bottom cut out. The legs on the commode are adjustable so lower or heighten them so the splatter shield goes down into the toilet a couple of inches. The lid to the toilet can be left up. One reason for the bar removal another because the commode fits better. An advantage of this is the commode seat is higher. She has arms to help her get up and the legs of the commode make it stable, unlike some of the hirisers. Maybe once she gets used to that, you can remove the commode or she may find she likes it
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