Mother is being discharged out of an ALF because of aggressive behavior and trying to exit the facility. What do I do?

Where are they discharging her to and to whom? Please don't accept or be guilted/bullied into accepting her mother to hopefully not your home.They can't just literally throw her into the street ,then they are breaking the law and are liable.You do not have to accept someone back in shape, it doesn't sound like she is someone that can be cared for at a private home by one person.DO NOT accept the discharge,stand firm.

Read Texarkana's response again. And listen to it.

If she is in the unit for dementia with behavioral disturbance, that means something. The rules and expectations for the open-door unit must be different for the special dementia unit. I would read the lease/residential agreement for the fine print.

If they DO put her out on the street, call 911 and have her taken to the hospital. Call the state Dept of Human Services crisis hotline to report the facility so they get investigated. Call your TV station's consumer advocate reporter.

This also raises red flags to me that they are not training staff properly to deal with these patients, may be understaffed, and something ELSE is going on there at the management level.

I would also remind them that there should have been a family conference prior to any discharge decision or action.

Get an attorney as well.

I was under the impression that there are drugs out there to calm aggressive behavior in dementia so they can be kept in AL. Are there really cases where a person's aggression can't be controlled? We were lucky when my mother became verbally aggressive and actually pushed someone. The doctor put her on Zoloft which worked and eliminated the behaviors. I always thought ALs had all the answers, but I'm realizing that most ALs are more reactive than proactive and are not the sources of information they could be - to work with and steer the family of a patient to doctors who are experts in dementia and geriatrics. Sigh, they are still better than home care, but they are businesses like anything else.

How long has your relative been in the facility? Sometimes (like in my mother's case) the person will act out violently when moved into a different facility. And sometimes they will settle down, between getting accustomed to the different routine and some serious tranquilizer type meds on a temporary basis, it worked. It was a real rodeo for about 2 months, though.

Can they or have they reccomended an alternate facility that may be better for her?

I have recently found out there are facilities in most areas that accept aggressive behavior residents with dementia / Alzheimers or more specifically "dementia behaviors". These facilities have special training and usually will state this on their website or by asking when called. Most ALF do not have this and are not sufficiently trained. Nevertheless, they cannot kick anyone out. It's a rental agreement just like any other type in your state, unless specifically stated upon entering into the agreement. A call to the local elder protective services and / or ombudsman will help you out and shape them up as well. I hope all goes well with you and your mother. My mom was pretty close the same and had to change her medications to calm her WAY down. She was on the "bubble" of getting kicked out.

It is in my dad's AL contract that should his medical needs change so that he needs a higher level of care, the AL facility must assist in finding an appropriate facility before he can be discharged. That is the law in Texas and probably many other states. Check with the ombudsman.

There are drugs, but the person needs to be in the care of a geriatric psychiatrist that you may or may not have access to in an AL facility.

I need to say out loud that AL - assisted living - is NOT for dementia care. I would never expect an AL facility to provide dementia care or have staff specially trained in dealing with someone beyond the early stages of it. If the facility is for-profit, they have a motive to keep someone on long past their ability to actually care for them and not counsel you on what you should be doing instead. And then...wham...something awful happens and mom is being evicted for breaking the residency rules.

Look for Memory Care in the name, the description, the materials and ask how they deal with "Dementia with Behavioral Disturbance". I would bet dollars to doughnuts no AL facility is going to be willing to deal with that at all because it is so extreme. Also make sure they will take Medicaid because unless you are in possession of a Koch Brother's fortune, you are going to need it.