I had to have my mother involuntarily committed last April 2016. She did not get released until May 20, 2016, due to refusing her meds. She only took her meds to get out. Due to being involuntarily committed she cannot own guns. At her release her doctor said she could live on her own. As soon as she got out she stopped taking her meds. She refused to go to her follow up appointment. She has been accusing me of begging for money on the streets, my husband beating me, losing my job and the list is endless. I call her twice a day and usually see her at least 3 days a week. She says she wants me to live with her since my house is so dangerous. Before my aunt died she would go to her house looking for me and would not leave. One day my aunt called me at work and said she didn't realize until her neighbor called that my mom's car had been in front of her house since 10:00 that morning. My aunt had looked around and couldn't find her. This was at 2:00 in the afternoon. I found her on my waty to my aunt's house lying jn someone's yard. Christmas night she was in front of her house trying to flag down a car to take her to the hospital because she thought I was there dying. I have been told repeatedly I do not have enough to show sge is a danger to herself or others to have her committed again.
She refuses to go to assisted living. Living with my husband and myself is not an option because of the things she says he has done. Tonight once again she thinks I am in the hospital. I love her dearly but I do not know what to do.
Do you have medical POA? If so, maybe a new physician will give you diagnosis of dementia and/or delusional, etc and a letter of incompetency that supports your POA.
This will allow you to place mom.
If you don't have POA, you can either:
1. File with court for guardianship
2. Contact neighbors, family, police dept. and advise all to call 911 or APS every time they see mom out doing something unusual, unsafe, period.
I had a POA--same craziness where couldn't get a dr to write a letter even with dementia diagnosis and unhealthy unsafe behaviors. I finally did #2 and APS got involved when I stepped away from rescuing mom. I was in constant contact with APS and others and let them know they were helping me build a case to help mom and I had exhausted everything else. It took awhile, but worked and APS actually got mom placed so family could take it from there. Mom is thriving and loving memory care. I'm loving the relief.
Good luck and be persistent. Mom is crazy and her behavior is dangerous to herself, she needs professional help.
Just another example of how our misguided laws support the civil rights of the DISEASE!
Does she ever have lucid (non-delusional) periods? Is there ever a time you can talk to her rationally?
When you show up or talk to her on the phone and report that you aren't in the hospital, aren't sick, etc. etc. -- what is her reaction?
Sometimes there is really nothing that can be done, but if there are drugs that could make this better for her it is extremely sad she refuses them.
Have you been in touch with her Doctor? Clearly, her noncompliance with her meds and treatment changes the idea that she can live on her own. She needs to be in a sheltered, supportive environment that assures that her meds are being given, and taken.
2. Was APS involved the last time she was committed? I think calling them would be a good step to take. She is a vulnerable person who needs support.
3. When she is on meds, is there any understanding on her part that she is suffering from a severe mental illness?
She says I am delusional and will not accept the fact that my husband has left me for another woman. At one point she said he was living in Costa Rica. Even though she has been to the house looking for me while I was at work and he answered the door. We work different shifts.
I am reluctant to involve APS because I work in a different part of DHHR but we are all in the same building. It would basically be involving a co-worker. I am not sure how that would play out. I do know the supervisor of APS personally. Maybe I could talk to her about the situation.
What happens if you respond to her delusions with " oh mom, that must be so scary for you. I'm taking care of myself. I'm dealing with it".? Or something neutral like that?
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