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My mother is becoming someone that I don't know anymore. The last few years her anxiety or depression has reached the level where I just don't know what to do anymore. She refuses to seek any type of help or medication. She gave my dad an ultimatum to move out of the family home and into an apartment in the city (instead of moving into a Senior's home because she didn't like any of the ones they could afford). All this while my father who is struggling through chronic heart failure, kidney failure, sleep apnea and is barely able to walk anymore, she got him to move. The constant drama between them, the screaming and yelling and then my mother's uncontrollable rage and crying fits have me at my wits end. My husband and I moved to my parent's basement so I could help take care of them (5 years). Now that they have moved out (a month now) I was hoping she would be happy but she's not. She will often storm out the door and disappear for hours and hours. Both my parents constantly threaten each other to leave but they never do.

How can I help her to get help when she won't listen. She is adamant about not taking any type of medication or seeing a professional.

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Carebuni, Baker Act is an involuntary psychiatric evaluation. Call your mom's doctor and discuss this option.

Mom and Dad moved out of their home, and you're still there? How about moving dad only back in with you guys? Or moving HIM to an AL? Sad to say, if you leave mom on her own it might be easier to get her into a psych hospital for an evaluation. And upset dad less.
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Carebuni, as hard as it sounds, you "Baker Act" her to protect your father from her uncontrollable rage. They moved a month ago? My guess is the move has exacerbated her dementia by a stage or two. Sooner or later the apartment management is going to be dealing with complaints of domestic disturbance. If you do nothing APS (Adult Protective Services) will be knocking on their door. Baker Act her, or let APS do it for you. Baker Act is a psych eval.
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She recently saw the family Dr. and told her she wanted blood work done to check if her thyroid medication was working properly because she said she often cries and her throat closes up and she has a hard time breathing. When we returned for the results, the Dr. told her, her thyroid was fine and perhaps she was having stress/anxiety issues and maybe she could try medication. My mom stormed out of the office and the Dr. said there's not much I can do if she doesn't want any help.

I do agree that she probably is in the early stages of dementia, her memory lapses are getting worse weekly. Now, how do I get the doctor to check her for dementia?
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Have mom checked for dementia. Behaviors like mood swings and crying fits are early signs. For uncontrollable rage call 911 and have her admitted for a 72 hour psychiatric evaluation.
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