Hi Everybody , I’m new here and just need to tell my story with the hopes that some of you that have gone before me might have advise for me. My mom is 89 and was diagnosed w vascular dementia 2 years ago. She lives alone and still drives. I’m in California and she’s in Connecticut. She’s at the stage where she can’t find words to complete sentences. I end up trying to guess what she is wanting to say. It’s exhausting for both of us and she is isolating so she doesn’t have to talk to people. She’s very strong willed and fights me on every decision I suggest. Do I just come right out and say that we need to discuss the dementia and her wishes for when she is unable to live alone? I know she wants to stay in her house and she has limited funds but I think we will be able to do it. Am I going to wait until she’s incapacitated to take action? What should I be preparing for? I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. I went through aggressive chemotherapy 13 years ago and it was a cake walk compared to the deep grief and pain I feel. Thank you and God bless you all.