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Mother lives 500 miles away from me in another state. She fell four weeks ago and was placed in a hospital. She was then transferred to a rehab facility to get her strength back. Once the Medicare ran out she was placed into an assisted living facility and was diagnosed with dementia, Afib and malnutrition. She was overmedicating herself with doctor prescribed Xanax and tramadol for depression and back pain. It is quite obvious she cannot go back home by herself and is unable to care for herself properly. Last week she was placed in an assisted living facility. She is currently self paying using most of her pension and Social Security income, minus about 100 dollars. I have had financial power of attorney for several years now and used it to add my name to her bank account to handle her bills for her. Since the assisted living facility is taking most of her income, I have had to pay her other bills such as property tax, home owners insurance, utilities, supplemental health care insurance, prior purchases, and whatever other suprises that have been showing up, while trying to maintain her home from far away. She has been financially irresponsible all her life and if she somehow gets into her bank account, she will spend all her income that has to go for her care. How do I prevent this from happening? I'm already out three thousand dollars and growing and it's killing me financially. She has no mortgage and years ago, without my knowledge, added me to the deed to the house as a joint tenant. I have no interest in the home and would like to sell it, putting the money into some type of account to pay for her future care and medical needs. She was a hoarder and its been a nightmere trying to get through all this. Trying to limit my financial involvement and protect my family from all this

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BarryR, if ALL your mother's income except $100 is going to ALF, your mother may be on Medicaid in her state. If so, don't do ANYTHING about the house until you confirm that. The house is only an exempt asset until it's sold; if she is on Medicaid, funds realized from house sale may disqualify her from Medicaid until spent down and you can't get part of it to reimburse yourself OR there may already be a lien from Medicaid and you can't sell with clear title. You need to review paperwork from the facility and talk with the administration/social worker at the facility. Then you need to talk with an elder care lawyer if she is on Medicaid and figure out how to structure selling the house and putting the funds in a protected account. If your name is on deed, but it was never registered to you, Medicaid may not even honor any interest in the house for you or anyone but mom.
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I agree with JessieBelle, above, sell the house if you can so you can get the equity out of it, for future use for your Mom to pay for Assisted Living, and for you to reimburse yourself for monies you spent from your own pocket. Make copies of the receipts and checks written, and keep in a safe place.

I am curious how did your Mom add you name onto her Deed without you knowing it? I would think you would be required to sign some legal document saying that this is being done. You might want to check with the County offices, maybe Mom didn't do this if her memory is no longer sharp.

Anywho, with your name on the Deed that means you and Mom own 50-50 of the house. I would contact an Elder Law Attorney to get advice on what to do now regarding this situation. When you sell the house, you would get 50% of the equity, and the bases for capital gain taxes would be when your Mom had bought the house. Oops. Since you don't live in the house, the IRS may consider this 50% as an investment property, thus it becomes more complicated. And what if Mom needs Medicaid down the road to pay for her care, there is that 5 year look back.

If everything is solid for selling the house, in today's real estate market people are looking for fixer-uppers. Thus don't sink any major money into the house. Sell the house "as is". I did that with my Dad's house and it sold quickly. In fact, the Buyer said it was ok if I wanted to leave stuff in the house, he would clear it out. But I didn't, I had Salvation Army out, plus a hauler who does donate usable things and sends you the donation receipt.
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Your message made me think of something that should be on everyone's bucket list: Downsize and get rid of the clutter so the kids don't have to deal with it.
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You are thinking along the right track in selling the house, but I know it will be a lot of work. Has your mother been declared legally incompetent? Do you think that she is? and would doctors agree? If she has thoughts of coming back home, she may not want to sell the house and would try to prevent you from doing it. If she is a hoarder she will most likely not want to give up her home. If you want to go this route, talk to doctors about her competence. If they deem her legally incompetent, then you would be free to sell the home as her POA. You can hire a team to clean the hoard and get the house ready for market. This will be very costly, so save the receipts. You can reimburse yourself the cost when the house sells. Whatever money is left can be used for her care.

What does your mother want to do? Since she has little money, hiring caregivers 24/7 would be out of her financial reach and would drive you broke, too. The idea on selling the house sounds more feasible. I know it's a huge albatross to get it done from such a distance. I don't envy the chore you have ahead of you. I hope you can find the right help to get it done quickly.
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