just don't know the degree. My mom is 81, had aggressive breast cancer in 2010. Finished chemo and radiotherapy and followed up on her health state but stopped about two years ago. I'm not sure if it's come back as there's no medical help being seeked. My mom doesn't want to see a doctor, and i don't blame her although it is irresponsible, I know, but she is over everything else INCREDIBLY depressed, death appeals to her tremendously. Every day is a battle to figure out how, if possible, to get her our of the deep black, sad hole she is. My mom has always been extremely critical and judgemental, but now it's that times 10,000%. No one other than me can take care of her, she hurts people. She hurts me too, has always, but it's the only way she knows to be. At this point, when she's so down, which is always, and she tells me that she wants to just die (always too), and/or I can see her physical/mental pain, like a desire to get out of her own body and skin! It's so unbelievably hard to watch, and NOT KNOW what to do. Please help with any suggestions. Some times I tell her I need help with something so she gets up and out, and mostly she does, but then she blames me for making her do things that will make her sick (she gets colds, suffers from really bad body pain, so many side effects that live with you after chemo, too many!). She's a very intelligent woman and an intellectual being. She does Facebook and writes beautifully but can't see well, a cataract surgery has become so hard to accomplish because of her personality too, that would help her a great deal! To see, read better.
My question is how do you take out of the shadows someone that wants to die, and that needs constant mental simulation to not be in the darkest places. I think I really cannot reach her. As gralbinforfation we live overseas (I moved from the US to be with het, not working now but have some savings). My mom has been diagnosed in the past with AR and "light" lupus, chronical bronquitis and like I mentioned, not sure where we are with cancer. Never diagnosed but obvious, deep depression, anxiety and hypochondriac behavior (yes, aside from the illnesses she has). I don't want to make this about how I feel, I just need help understanding how to help her. Thank you! !