Mother is 92 years old, and has had several physical events that have led to cognitive decline. She has not been diagnosed with Alzheimer's, but she's past moderate cognitive decline. She is in a wonderful and caring continuum care facility where she and my dad moved to Independent Living in 2006. He passed in 2012.
At any rate, she is vision-impaired, as well as hard of hearing. She can see us and knows who we are, but as for showing her pictures, or reminiscing, she really has no long-term or short-term memory of events and some people. She's very sweet and mellow, and compliant. In fact she always is afraid she's doing the wrong thing.
I guess I'm wondering what we do, other than keeping conversations down to a couple of minutes of "How are you doing? Can you see the weather outside?" A CNA brings her a tablet for the conversation and she says "Bless you" frequently, and blows us kisses at the end.
We're only an hour away and tried the distance in-person visits, but her vision and hearing (especially with masks) just didn't work. The sunlight made her sleepy, as well.
Is 5 minutes enough? I know she's happy and as comfortable as someone can be at her age and what her body has been through. It's kind of stressful for us, but it's not really about us. As I said, she's happy to see us, but has nothing to contribute to the conversation, nor do we have a life exciting enough to share - and she won't know what we're talking about.
The anticipatory grief is tough, and the situation is so different than when we lost Daddy.
I also had no idea what topic this should go under.