My mother has always been in charge and decides what dosages to give. What can we do?

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She is now 87 years old, takes care of her 96 year old husband and 92 year old sister. She feels she is competent to assist her husband in getting in and out of the shower, despite her frailty. She is also in charge of giving her sister medications (Rx) but decides what dosage to give, despite us telling her that she cannot do that. We have tried to talk to her Dr. About the situation but has instructed the Dr. Not to talk to us. What can we do?

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She can make decisions, even bad ones, as long as she is legally competent. Given her age, you are probably seniors too. You need to start small, maybe a house keeper for her once a week to do heavy cleaning (figure out which chores she hates and start with those) Maybe a bath aide once a week. Slowly increase the help as she becomes accepting of it. A gardener or lawn guy once a week. A window washer twice a year. Small steps.
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