Mother cries out. How do you deal with a person with dementia who is so needy?

You consider placing her in a Memory Care Assisted Living community where she will get care 24/7 by people who work in shifts to ensure there is round the clock care. One person cannot be expected to deal with late stage dementia issues of this caliber. It's unfair to both parties. At the very least, caregivers need to be rehired in the home, especially for the night shift, if your mother is not placed in professional care.

My mother is almost 94, moderate dementia, incontinent, sleepless for the most part, and in constant need of some type of care, medication, attention or companionship which she gets at her Memory Care Assisted Living community. She is never alone between having 12 caregivers and 22 other residents to visit with every day, plus the visits and calls she gets from family. Her doctor visits weekly and changes her medication as needed. There is no way on earth I'd be able to handle her in my home.....it would be literally impossible. Nobody should expect such a thing of herself or of another, either, because it's just TOO MUCH for one human being to handle.

Wishing your sister the best of luck taking care of HERSELF in addition to figuring out her mother's needs.

I am in your sisters position and understand her burnout. I do have help for 4 hours a day and the other 20 are on me because I live the closest to my mother. I have had to quit my job and my husband lives a bachelor's life because I also sleep at my mother's house to care for her at night It has been so easy for my two sisters to find reasons why they can't share the burden of caregiving. Jobs, kids, distance etc. All good reasons to avoid the truth of a situation. But siblings need to share caregiving responsibilities. I turned my life upside down to be a caregiver while my siblings found excuses why they can't help. Your sister and mother need help. Step up. You must make the sacrifices you need to share the caregiving of your mother. This post is directed to all siblings who rely on one sister or brother to carry the burden of an aging parents care. You are in this together. No more excuses please

This is so unfair to your sister. Sleep deprivation is a form of torture.

Time to look into your mother going into a facility.

Toward the end of my mom's life, her precious Scotty dog died. That's when her moaning and crying became loud enough to have the neighbors call adult protective services to investigate. Of course spending just a few minutes with her they could see that the moaning was the result of her dementia. We found that buying her a stuffed "Scotty" that she could hold calmed her more than any of the drugs. We also started using CBD tea and oil; that really helped her relax. As she got worse she hated to close her eyes, her fear of death was so profound. Many nights she would hug the stuffed dog and whimper just like a baby. We finally put a wind up clock that softly ticked in her room only at night and the distraction was enough for her to doze off. When we finally had to put her in nursing home hospice care she would never let the toy dog go. When she passed she hugged the dog to her, smiled and closed her eyes. The point is we never know what our loved ones are going through in their minds. All we can do is love them like they did when we were born. God bless, peace and joy.

My mom called my name and another phrase over and over, I'm not sure she even realized she was doing it. Tell your sister she has to mentally turn it off, wearing ear plugs can help - I'm serious about that, the little foam ones from the drug store won't block it completely but can turn down the volume when your nerves are beyond frayed. Then talk to the doctor about something to help your mother sleep through the night, for us mirtazapine was a miracle drug that not only gifted us with restful sleep it helped my mom be less needy and more herself through the day. Sister needs to make sure the doctor understands that her need for restful sleep is the priority because she can't continue as a caregiver without it.

As for the zombie effect of some drugs - often that wears off as the body becomes adjusted or the dose is changed, she needs to give everything a fair trial (several weeks) before dismissing it.

Does she have a neurologist? If not , perhaps PCP can prescribe a medication to calm her down, It don’t get any easier, my friend.
Hugs 🤗

Employ the services of nursing assistant, “Visiting Angels,” Your poor sister must be exhausted, and is putting her own health at risk. Have you considered placing your mom in a skilled nursing facility?

Are you sure it is needy?

She has a disease that causes her anxiety. Check with the doc about meds that may help calm her. She is frightened, doesn't know where she is and needs love, patience and reassurance.

Check into memory care facilities for her. Get sis a break, somehow. Go to visit while sis takes a vacation. What can you do to help?

Kuddos to your sister. Taking care of someone with dementia is not easy.
Is it possible that you or other family members can relieve your sister?

My wife takes two prescriptions, both together at two times each day. Check with your Dr. to see if your meds are enough to keep her calm. My wife gets extra meds in the evening to allow her to sleep all night... your mom will benefit from the increase in meds and you will, too...