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It's pretty important from the APS side who owns the house. If it is your name, move her out via court ordered evaluation and placement. If it is a house in her name and APS is involved, you will be ordered to leave.
You are being abused by her delusional behavior. It needs to end before she ruins your reputation and career. Far better you start the legal proceedings before APS does. See an attorney as soon as possible.
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Sorry, I've never used a forum and don't know how to make entries. Frankly, I don't even know where to begin. This really is too complicated for me. Mother has only lately begun to be accusatory regarding misplaced items, suspecting me of wanting to put her in a home, and comparing me to my father in ways that cause me severe grief and guilt. Enter a dysfunctional family, distant relatives, old friends sick and passing away spoken to by telephone, rural isolation, New Age gibberish regarding past lives, etc. (mother was once a member of a cult), fundamentalist neighbors who I detest for their resemblance to that television Duggar family, and a lifetime as, to use my seldom calling sister's word describing mother, a "pity-pot". Add to that stage that six months ago I verbally, loudly and unpleasanty, ejected the matron of the "Duggar" clan from our house for as I called it, "interfering in our family life". The woman had manipulated mother into establishing a garden scheme that I knew would be too much work for mother and which I knew to be horticulturally unsound. To me the event was a tempest in a teapot. The woman needed to have boundaries set. Mother has never stopped stewing and I regret my outburst. Anger, I think, has a natural place at 7:00a.m. sans coffee when disagreeable people tell you how to rearrange your lawn. The point here being that I have become angry around and with mother, not without reason. I have come to avoid the emotion. To my original question, perhaps I should rephrase it to how do I reestablish with mother that I am not a threat because I fend off persons who I think are suspect. Her terrible marriage to my father (estranged) doubtless makes all this worse. Even my vocal defense of myself, sometimes needed, brings out comparison to my father, who despises me because I am not like him. This makes her think I am a danger to her. This she tells her friends and neighbors. Of course she also tells them what a wonderful son I am and all the things I do for her and to help her. It is maddening. As in many of these cases, I have no "life", no friends, and little hope. I have contacted an organization for the ageing in hope of learning how to deal with this and to get "support". We are all each other have, mother and I. Frankly, the amazon fundamentalist next door frightens me.
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If your mom has dementia and has paranoid delusions, please get her in to see a geriatric psychiatrist asap. Meds can help.
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What people, it makes a big difference who she is telling. Family? Neighbours? Doctors? Police or APS?
And have you ever said or done anything that might give them any reason to believe her?
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