Follow
Share

She cannot leave me alone for ten minutes; she follows me around or wants me to stay with her while she is in bed. She says she is dying. The doctor said everyone is dying. How can I have her tested for either dementia or Alzheimer's? as well as other psychological problems.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Is the balance of her and her husband's estate plan concluded as well? Will and/or Trust, Living Will/Advanced Directive? If not, I'd get that accomplished before seeing anyone for a dementia evaluation.

There could be other, more subtle things that are frightening her. Your profile states that she lives at home, but I have the impression from your post that she lives with you. Is your father living with you also?

If they are living alone, they're both at ages where they can recognize physical limitations; your mother might be afraid because her mobility has been compromised, or the same situation for your father. She may fear that she can't help him if something happens.

I can honestly state that I'm in my early 70s and I've become more concerned about safety because I know I'm not as limber as I used to was. And that "safety" includes safety from unknowns, such as strangers at the door (which I rarely answer), more concern for people who might wander into the yard while I'm gardening (I usually have a pitchfork with me), etc.

If your parents watch the news and see all the horrific reports that some stations milk for all they're worth, those kinds of events can cause an underlying fear that's ongoing. Although I have no scientific proof, I think a lot of people developed a high level of anxiety after watching the repeated videos of 9-11. I still feel that fear when some news stations drags out the videos and runs them again.

Have there been any notable crimes in her area?

Other than that, what are her medical conditions, specifically, does she have extensive mobility limitations, has either she or your father been diagnosed with a serious condition recently? If she's just begun using a walker or something that is mobility related, she could be sensing the loss of physical dexterity and become worried what she would do if she fell or if something else happened.

Or maybe she's just lonely. Do you have children, grandchildren, pets? If there are pets, bring a cat or dog to her and let her pet it while you're trying to work. Or put on some of her favorite music. Hopefully it will calm her so that she doesn't feel the need to be so close to you.

If she won't agree to an evaluation, I wouldn't push it; just deal with the situation as if she had been evaluated for dementia - the diagnosis would confirm or refute any suspicion of dementia, and you could get meds if that's the plan, but the issue of the day to day interaction would still be one to face and address.

I just searched this site for posts or articles on "Dementia Clinginess"; there are a lot of hits on this topic. Perhaps there are some suggestions in other posts that might be of help:

https://www.agingcare.com/search.aspx?searchterm=dementia+clinginess
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Both my husband and I have power of attorney. My concern is that she will not get an evaluation. She is very bright (IQ 140 at one time).
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I would have her evaluated. You might make a list of things that are of concern, but first, I would make sure her Durable Power of Attorney and Health Care POA are signed. If it is dementia, you will need to step in and act on her behalf with her finances and healthcare. Once she is evaluated, her mental state may be an issue and it may too late for her to sign those documents.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

You may NOT want to have her officially "tested" for mental capability if there are financial issues involved as it may lock you from doing things you have been doing normally for a long time and you will have to go through paying out a LOT of legal fees to be able to after that test "deems" her to be in some type of legal status. You don't need to get such tests done unless you want to protect her from OTHER people usually. In the mean time just lock up everything securely that could open the door to others abusing her identity or banking or similar things. I don't believe you need such a test to be done if you wish to put her in a care home.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

You need to get mom to a geriatric psychiatrist, or a neurologist who specializes in dementia.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter