How do you visit with a 96 year old mother that complains all the time? - AgingCare.com

How do you visit with a 96 year old mother that complains all the time?

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I change the subject but she get right back to it.This constant complaining and negativity is unhealthy. What should I do when she starts?

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Has she always been a complainer? Can you try egging her on to complain more? Can you agree that her situation is quite intolerable, until she gets bored? Can you top every complaint with one of your own, until she tells you to quit being so negative?

Can you drown her with sympathy, if you think she's more sad than angry? Hugs and love might help change the conversation.

Sorry, my husband is kinda like that, and it's pretty unpleasant.
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This summer my 102 year old mother launched into one gripe after another. After 20 minutes of trying to introduce a new subject and having her derail that with another complaint I decided I didn't have to stay and participate. (Stopping to visit her was 2 1/2 hours into a drive to meet my husband 4 hours from home and I'd planned to visit her for much longer) I told her I had to go, she said "Sort of a short visit." I said "Yah, but I need to meet my husband and don't want to hit rush hour traffic." The next visit (on the return trip home) was very pleasant , no complaints at all.
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