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She didn't like her daytime caregiver.


She has a history of caregiver abuse and has lost several due to name calling, etc. She has been in several nursing homes/ assisted living facilities but feels the caregivers are "unqualified" and threatens to report them to the state. Two have requested she not return. My mother is currently living with us. Her doctor would like to keep her living at home as long as possible. She receives more personalized care here. I am now receiving regular unannounced visits from the state elder care department. The caseworker is rather hostile and gives me the feeling that he is looking for an infraction. I'm not sure what my rights are. We have a full-time, experienced caregiver and have complied with all requests from the elder care representative. As the primary caregiver ( I'me her only child) the state investigator keeps reminding me that I am ultimately responsible for all aspects of her care. I'm working closely with mom's doctor, a gerontologist and we are following her care plan closely. I'm getting a bit worried about my legal standing. Any advice?

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Cwillie - that might work, but you'd have to have a good feel for the person to know if they will "flow" with that sort of thing. I'd vote for starting out totally respectful of the workers and their necessity for being there, with a lot of openness to letting them see what is really going on. As in, "Well. I don't know that anything like that is really going on - I think sometimes Mom imagines or dreams things like that at times - but by all means, investigate and be sure, let me know how you find things." Also, you do NOT want to have an abuse or neglect case founded - you are typically put on a registry and restricted from certain types of jobs.
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She sounds like a holy terror!
I think your best strategy is to be "cheerful and stupid"... silly old mom, isn't she a hoot, whatever could she be complaining about now! Her history is well documented and despite her repeated accusations no problems have ever been found. And, worse case scenario, it seems to me if the state really does come in and take over her care it would let you off the hook completely because you would no longer be the one having to deal with this mess.
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The APS worker who came out to my neighbor's house to check on her was amazed! He asked why is she wearing diapers? (She was in her underwear though). He went inside to interview her (a male, alone with a demented woman wearing diapers-NOT!) They did nothing! The neighbor had to wait until she fell outside/off to ER with paramedics to get help, it took another week or so.
The reason I am telling you this-those workers don't have it all together either.
You don't work for them.
However, that is why they are so dangerous.
When one arrives, you could leave or stay outside. Have a neighbor over to be a witness to the conversation.
Have a lawyer, her doctor or yours write letters to build a defense by stating you are a good caregiver-and Mom's behaviors, etc. You may never need to use them.
There are people on here who have dealt with this dilemma in really effective ways-wait for it...
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Wellll...it sounds like a mess.

The DCFS people are required to investigate all reports. It sounds like these have been unfounded because they are leaving her in your care, but maybe Mom, or someone else, is calling in reports to them. What do they seem to think might be deficient? It is some kind of care she is refusing? Is there something your caregiver is not doing or supervising? I have to agree something does not sound right.
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