My 85 year old mother came home from the senior center with a man she wants to date who is only 65, what should I do?

Pj Keizer, hope you've made some progress finding out about this guy. Please let us know, lisa

Picksixer, Thank goodness you have POA and control the finances. Can we assume your Mom also has dementia? If not, watch out for her valuables, jewelry and life ins policy. Hopefully she made you the owner of her life ins policy long ago. If not, she might still be able to transfer ownership to someone else or change the beneficiary. You may want to get some legal advice to find out if that's possible for her to do if she is not mentally competent. Also, you mention that she is living in your home and you do everything for her. I would consider not allowing the man into your home or even getting a restraining order on him if he gets pushy.

I agree with the others. Have him checked. But also prevent him from taking her somewhere. Like to the justice of the peace. I'm sure that could be an annould but why put your mom through that pain.
If. He does gave a past have the police give him a visit to scare him off. Sounds like a con man.

Accompany mom to Sr Ctr and ask various staff, Especially those who have been there for a while, for a reading on the suitor. I too would be very concerned. Background checks r done either state or national-do national. It is not uncommon for transient types to target Sr centers in search of victims. U may also consider a discussion w local police to see if they have any awareness of him. Even if no criminal record, someone may have alerted them to a similar situation w their mom. I agree w Ladee n survived2: listen to your gut, and when he sees u won't get any access to mom's assets, he'll likely keep moving along. My mom lived far from us and would not allow us to protect her- she lost lots: money, missing antiques/silver, jewelry, and worst of all- dignity. Glad u r able to keep her protected n hope u stay on top of this. Kimbee

i'd want to have him investigated too. it does sound fishy. like everyone says, follow your gut.

I have power of attorney and I am joint account holder on both her bank acct and her investment acct. I take care of everything, she doesn't have a bank card and doesn't know how to contact the investment people.

Personally, I would start doing a little investigating on my own. Definitely figure out how to do a criminal background check on this gentleman. Plenty of people out there that prey on the elderly. Do you have poa over her finances? I'm betting if you do and when this guy finds out, you won't be seeing him again.

Follow your gut, if something feels wrong, then it is.... I would be suspcious too... you have the right to intervene if you choose to.... let us know how this turns out... we need to always protect our elders, and this is a new one.... hugs to you.