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She went into the hallway at the ALF facility and screamed about her heart, they called an ambulance, when being placed on the stretcher, she said it was her throat. Doctor in ER said she has advanced dementia. They did a CT scan, blood work and nothing negative. Last night she called and said she was going to die. I'm at the point that I don't answer my phone, have caller ID. She's 97 years old. Took her to ENT Dr because of sinus, he gave her medicine and she won't take it, mentions Doctor is wrong. I'm having a terrible time with her, don't even want to see her or even take her out for lunch. All I hear is how everything is wrong with her and I need to take her to a better Doctor. I even think the care-givers at the facility are getting frustrated with her. I also feel guilty that I'm not understanding, it's my mother. Open for suggestions..

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My mom was having a hard time swallowing and dr. said it was do to her Parkinson's . They put her on an appetite enhancer and now has no problem swallowing her food.
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My mother in law had Lewy Body Dementia. She lost the ability to swallow in the last 6 months or so. It's pretty common. It helped for her to use a straw to drink liquids and all of her food was put through a blender.

It sounds like your mom has a tremendous amount of anxiety and she's passing it off onto you. My heart goes out to both of you. Dementia is horrible on everyone. I wonder if the doctor could prescribe some anti-anxiety meds, though those don't always work either. Might be the time to make one more doctor call and explain the situation without mom in attendance. Hugs to you....
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At 97 it may be that something IS failing, but at 97 Drs don't always take things seriously (not a good trait, but happens). Depending on what her coverage is, find a Dr. that will listen to her talk- maybe even a homeopath or something alternative/Chinese medicine or acupuncture. She may just need someone who will listen to her very carefully, make the appropriate caring noises, and can just give her a healthy food/exercise regime to being addressed. You might be able to have them prescribe a (pre-arranged) diet/exercise regimine if you are very sneaky which would likely to improve her health as well as kick in the placebo effect! Schedule regular appts. w/that Doc as "follow-up" to make sure she feels cared for and listened to. You may even find that she gets better & healther.
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