My 90 y/o mother has been recently identified as having a borderline personality disorder. She immediately got into a fight with the doctor that identified her problem and refused to see her again. The family always knew she suffered from some kind of psychological problem since we were young, but being products of 1950s WASP suburbia, nothing was done about it.
She recently had a UTI and refused treatment for 3 months. During that time she became a complete nightmare to anyone who tried to help her. She finally went back, on her own accord, to her previous primary care physician, who is probably the worst doctor I’ve ever encountered (she was going to a great geriatrician for the past year, but she fought with her over everything). The geriatrician is who identified my mother’s mental problem and wanted to put her in therapy and have her on an anti-psychotic medication. She would have anger/crying fits at every office visit.
During the past month she sent out letters to me, my inlays, my childhood friends telling them that I hate her. It was truly mortifying every time I talked with someone and they said they got a ’strange letter’ from my mother.
I’m not sure what to do at this point, as she lives at home, doesn’t drive. She eats cake and sweets all day, her teeth are all rotten, and she refuses to go to the dentist. I was trying to do some estate planning and she sent me a letter accused me of trying to “stick to her as far as it goes” - She refuses to give my sister or me POA, and has turned her house into a complete hoarder mess.
I’m not sure what is possible - it has been ruled out that she does not have dementia.
I have been told by many people just to stay away from her until a major crisis occurs, but I just can’t sit back and wait for this to happen.
Any advice, thoughts would be helpful.
Thanks and have a great weekend.