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you are in the process. You will get over the cleaning her up hurdle and there will be more hurdles to jump, I promise, but God Bless you for loving service to your Mom.
Now let me share a PERSONAL experience with you. My husband went down bed fast , going on two years now. Many complications, diabetes, congestive
heart failure. sleep apnae, groin hernia, swollen prostate with catheter inserted to release the urine, incontinent runny feces (probably due to the medication or other complication we are not aware of). He has memory problems, but is aware that he has this condition, and it is very very hard on him, but he never complains..
I have to have help come in at least one hour in a.m. and one hour in p.m. per day to actually roll him from side to side in order to keep his skin clean and well. One must constantly guard against bed sores and infections from lying in the bed continually. Mentally I try to talk to myself while caring for the matter, wiping the soupy feces from all areas it chooses to creep in. " Saying to myself, he doesn't deserve to be in this condition, he was and is a good man, I feel for him, it must be humiliating t o him, but he is so good, not to complain and make it worse. sometimes I even speak directly to him, and explain how I understand it must be hard to deal with this, but not much we can do except, do what we have to do, right? He may say something like, "I guess so." I relate this to you and anyone else that must deal with these matters. From experience, dealing with care centers in the past with family and friends, I have come to know that the care centers in most cases, do not have enough time to care for persons on a one on one individual basis.. So someone who loves and cares for them as family members many times find it necessary to do, and be in a position to keep on top of things, giving the best care possible. I have not tried this yet, but I have thought about putting on some enjoyable music or songs while cleaning, to keep mind off of the messy stuff, it may be worth while to try different avenues. Keep on keeping on and hang in there. May you be blessed for your kind and generous care you are giving to your loved one. A hug your way. joylee
Most of the time at the skilled nursing facility, I was so busy that helping clean someone up was just another task to get through and get 'er done so I could move on to the next 20 things I needed to be doing at that minute.
Another thing I did was to constantly remind myself that I was honoring these people by helping keep them clean, smelling nice, and healthy--just like I would want for myself. It is an honor for someone to allow you to help them with something so intimate. And by letting them know that I was happy to help them, made them feel better in letting me help them with so intimate a task. I tried putting myself in their "shoes," so to speak, and thinking of how I would like to be treated if I needed someone to wipe me. Sometimes I would get very emotional while helping someone! There were several very special moments I shared with the people I was taking care of.
For myself, I breathe through my mouth & not my nose or I do vomit.
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