I found this group 3 years ago when dad passed away, mom began accusing me of stealing from her. That was so surprising to me since I've been very generous toward my folks my whole life, I'm 60, mom 82.
Mom owns a home (40 miles from my town), has 3 acres of land, lots of steps in her home, mom has mobility problems so I bought my parents a nice house 5 miles from my home so I could look after them. Our understanding was they were to take about a year to do repairs to their home, sell it. That was 10 yrs ago, mom still has her broken down house, blaming my dead father it's all his fault he left her with a mess to take care of, but it was her that kept him from hiring people to do work, she's so cheap she didn't want to pay anyone. I've paid the taxes, ins., utilities, upkeep on the house I bought them for over 8 years, 2 years ago I made mom start paying her utilities because she was so nasty to me. She's suppose to pay taxes & ins on this house, but she won't, even tho she has the money, very selfish with me although I've always given her nice gifts, I've supplied 2 cellphones to her, nice foods, I did her shopping, haul her around, do everything for her basically, rarely appreciative.
Mom has never had many friends, didn't want to 'be bothered' by anyone. My dad catered to her every whim but she was always hateful to him even on his dying day. Mom & I have been pretty close over the years, but she's always been a challenge for me to get along with. After my dad passed, she said out loud one day "I don't have a friend in this world" & she's right, except for me and my husband, we helped her a lot. She never made much effort, didn't join in groups or church. Now my concern is the woman that lives across the street in her town has financial problems. She only became very friendly with mom since dad passed. I warned my mom to be careful of this woman & it made her mad. I did some research very recently and found that the woman's husband & son are both felons & been in prison, but are out now. I haven't told my mom yet about the woman because mom got mad at me in March and hasn't spoken to me since then. Mom had hired some men to work on her yard last year and I asked her for their names, checked on them, one of them had been in prison for many different reasons. I told her about it and she got very mad at me, told me to mind my own biz because they were the best workers she's ever had. She's very distrusting toward me although I've never given her one reason my whole life, yet she is surrounded by Felons and trusting them!
When I last saw her in March '17, I'd taken her a burger/fries (which is just about all she will eat), to help put her trash out - she went on a tirade about how it was my fault she didn't have any friends or family that wanted to see her, that I always did things for my dad and never anything for her (not true at all), that I had stolen from her, that I had threatened to throw her out of the house I bought her! and the most amazing thing: She said I'm so afraid she'll get remarried!!! I just laughed when she said that! My mom & dad were unhappily married for 63 years, she never let a day pass when she didn't insult him about everything he did or said. She was a very attractive woman years ago, now she's bent over on a walker, wearing a diaper, seems to have hated men her whole life - where in the world did that thought come from? I've wondered if her new "friend" that lives across the street has tried to introduce mom to a man? I know that I must go talk to my mom & try to work things out with her, it makes me sick to even think about having to deal with her anger. I have one sister that lives in another state, she's only in touch with mom to keep her foot in door to inherit what she can, she would undermine me any way she could to get me out of the picture. She's never given a hoot about our folks. I'm just sick about this, I vacillate between doing the right thing for mom and trying to respect myself & not put up with her anger. She's always been kinda nutty but I do think she's experiencing many symptoms of dementia. She's so distrustful of me, will not allow me to go with her to Dr. apptmts. I took mom to see her attorney after dad passed to check on will, 2 years later she accused me that I took her there to try to get attorney say she was insane! I don't want to be around mom and she doesn't seem to want me, but I don't want this neighbor to get her hooks into mom, could mom be so out of it to really consider remarrying someone? I'm at a loss.