Mother falsely accusing me of stealing small items from her. What can I do to protect myself because others who don't know me believe her? - AgingCare.com

Mother falsely accusing me of stealing small items from her. What can I do to protect myself because others who don't know me believe her?

Follow
Share

She also accused me of trying to kill her "multiple times" last week. That hurt, since I've been doing nothing but the opposite, but I let that one pass because it was too far out there.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
3

Answers

Show:
Thank you for the very helpful article and kind words, FreqFlyer. Thanks also country mouse for your questions. She's telling me and has told every other member of the family, who either believe her or don't want to admit there's a problem because they are able to manipulate her easily now. She told her lawyer last week who wrote me a scathing email with the closing line "I must insist that you help your mother." I wrote back telling her she should check her facts before passing on libel about me since I'd spent the last 16 months living out of a suitcase working almost everyday to be my mother's free slave (doing all yard work on acre lot, cleaning gutters, fixing a 45 year old house she'd let go to mold and vermin, etc). So yeah, she's slandering me all over to everyone and to my face. I don't go near her room or touch her things so I would never rifle through to find the stuff, though I have stumbled on some by accident (a broken plastic mini kitchen scale from the 1960s she said I stole - sheesh I don't even cook....). My career depends on a license. If I am accused of a felony I can lose my license and ability to earn a living - should I ever be able to get a job again after 16 months of being told how rotten I am, despite doing everything (while my life goes down the toilet) for her. The two older siblings she adores (who never see her) say she's fine and I'm wrong - again because they can control her and manipulate her for their gain. My younger brother escaped from her long ago. I've lost my whole family because they think I'm horrible based on all she's said falsely. Then again, I don't think I ever had them to lose. I'll keep reading the article Freq sent above and hanging in there. I may also take photos of her belongings and email them to my ex husband (the only support I have) so there's a record of what was there. Thanks again.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Is your mother accusing you to your face, or telling other people these false things behind your back, or - oh woe! - both?

Just keep telling the truth and shaming the Devil, is all you can do really. Are you able to locate the items she's misplaced, if any uninformed person demands to know where they've gone? - and anyway keep patiently educating them about dementia.

Who are these people, by the way? Anyone who matters to you?
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Mary, sadly the majority of the world doesn't understand how dementia works when it comes to being falsely accused of doing different things. I remember my Mom telling me that my Dad had punched her.... oh my gosh, I knew that wasn't true, but others not in the caregiving field might believe her. I never told my Dad what Mom said, as I didn't want him to be sad that Mom would say such an outlandish thing.

Here is an article that would be helpful regarding this issue. https://www.agingcare.com/articles/how-to-handle-alzheimers-disease-lying-144204.htm
Helpful Answer (6)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Related
Questions