My mother (85) had a heart attack 11 month ago and now has accused my sister of stealing. What should I do?

Ask the Middlesex NJ county office of the aging to help.
75 Bayard St # 5, New Brunswick, NJ 08901
Phone: (732) 745-3295

Rose, i agree that dementia may be the answer, but jf this behavior started all of a sudden, get your mom to urgent care tomorrow and have her checked for a uti right away. UTIs in the elderly can cause paranoia of the sort you describe..

Rose, the first thing I would suspect is that your mother may have some dementia. Her behavior and the heart attack make me think it's a possibility. People with certain forms of dementia can get very paranoid and often mean. Chances are that she believes what she is saying because it is her reality. She gets upset when others don't see what she "knows" to be true.

My mother does this a lot. She probably has vascular dementia with Alzheimer's setting in quickly. She will come up with an idea, then say it. Soon the idea becomes fact. You can try to tell her it isn't true, but she knows it is. She has been doing this for years now. Fortunately, most of her imagined realities are not harmful, so I don't worry about them. Your mother thinking your sister robbed her is more serious, so I understand how you can't go along with that reality.

Would it be possible to get her to a good geriatrics doctor so her cognitive abilities could be checked? Maybe the doctor can find some medications that will help or refer her to a geriatric psychiatrist to help. Geri psychs are very good to find a balance of medications that can make her feel better and more calm. I don't like drugs, but I know sometimes they improve the quality of life a lot.

I sympathize with you. It's not easy to be trying your best, but to get batted down. I hope you can find something that will help her with the paranoia and anger.