My mother is upbeat despite being wheelchair-bound for the past year and with mild dementia. Her quality is life is good in the house that she raised me in and has several Home Aides, the stairlift and a team I put together to help her. I live 700 miles away and surprise visit every forty-five days or so.
She had a check up for a new plan to replace her MLTC in NY that is going out of business and I hear from the Geriatric Manager that he wanted to "talk to me". That was three weeks ago - you know how "busy doctors" are, lol - and we just spoke today. "She has a big mass in her right breast and the options are a breast surgeon to remove entire breast, or if it does not hurt, do nothing and it will eventually spread slowly or fast (we do not know) and treat it with hormones. I have to go, lets talk over the weekend. Do you have any other questions for me?" Naturally I am a man and could not think of any other questions as I sat in my car in a parking lot listening to this.
So I thought to ask my AgingCare community for some advice before I bring this up to mom again. In the past we talked about this and she is of the attitude, "Well, I'm gonna die from something.." or "At this point, I don't want anybody cutting on me..."
Ideas and comments welcome. I have a "Twisted Sister", fifteen years younger than I who by the way, has always been the opposite of whatever rational reasoning I come up with. I am POA and Health Proxy - only two of us.