My mother's family are the most overbearing hard headed individuals. My oldest sister is 99 and my mom is 83. My mom oldest sister didnt have children so we are having to deal with her. They are very difficult to deal with.
Two of mother's sisters lived to be 100. Mother is now 95. All of these women were/are the salt of the earth. Nurturing, generous, fun, active. Both of my grandmothers lived past 95. Great and good women, both of them.
Both of my grandfathers died young. My father's father died when Dad was a child. As far as I can tell, this was not a big loss to the family (except finacially). My mother's father (died in his 70s) would be canonized if his children had that power.
There are good people in the world. Some of them live very long lives. Some of them die young. There are less-than-wonderful and even wicked peole in the world. Some live long and some die young.
I seriously doubt that there are any legitimate statistics showing that mean people live longer!
Jessie - mother tried to get me to be her servant too. I refused and made it clear that she could not move in with me nor would I leave my life to look after her. That may sound heartless to some, but I am not equipped to care for someone with a mental illness. I could not do it. She had ruined enough of my life already. I grew up in a home with extreme anger and rages regularly and could not subject myself to that again. I still have PTSD from childhood and early adulthood. Yes, they like to twist things to come out looking good and making you look bad. I wish for you a life of your own with the normal challenges and a bathtub!!! :)
Golden, my mother started asking me to move in to take care of them when she was in her early 70s. This was why she said that they were going to die soon. Thank goodness I didn't do it until about 10 years later. If I mention it now that she had asked me to move in, she says she never asked me, and that I moved in because I needed a place to stay. Poor pitiful me. And thank goodness for such a wonderful helpful mother. I don't know where I'd be without her -- probably enjoying my own apartment, free of any maintenance worries. Sounds like heaven. :)
Jessie I used to feel the same about mother but here she is on comfort care. Mother has been saying she would die from heart problems for years and years - especially when she didn't get her way. It is still ticking.
twocents - I actually have read that mean people do live longer but cant remember the reference.
My mother has not outlived all of her older and younger siblings and all but one cousin. She has been telling me that it probably her last year on earth since she was about 70. She is the second meanest in her family. Her youngest sister was the meanest and overdosed on chocolate cake when she was around 60 -- diabetic. To people on the outside, Mom seems like a sweet, passive lady. I get to see the other side. I think she is immortal, so I'll probably be the first to go.
JessieBelle, I just read today: 'old people don't get wiser/better/nicer - they just run out of stupid stuff to do and the energy to do it.' I believe it, I am Exhibit A! tired all the time and living in an ever narrowing world!) My mom was a street angel, house devil. She has been through multiple health crises, today is doing very well and seems content in the dementia unit of a NH. I truly believe she is going to outlive me. Her 8 brothers and sisters all died DECADES ago, and yet there is the dear old girl, still hanging in there, bless her heart!
the national enquirer (of all the rags) actually had an article on that many years ago stating 'yes, nasties live longer and here's why' of course, I don't remember what it said... losing my own marbles.
Interesting statement "Invalids don't die. They kill very on around them." My Mother also said that she was not going to last long since I was a young child and she is 91. All dead in her family except my cousin and myself. Maybe it is true.
My father used to say "invalids don't die. They kill every one around them." My mother is not mean but she is stubborn and manipulative. Since i was in high school ive been hearing how she, "wont last long" so she is 90. My brother died 18 years ago, my father 16 years ago and now i have health problems and she can't get it through her head that i can't and wont continue to take care of her. I think ill be shocked when/if she dies.
My father used to say "invalids don't die. They kill every one around them." My mother is not mean but she is stubborn and manipulative. Since i was in high school ive been hearing how she, "wont last long" so she is 90. My brother died 18 years ago, my father 16 years ago and now i have health problems and she can't get it through her head that i can't and wont continue to take care of her. I think ill be shocked when/if she dies.
My great aunt was 104 when she died, her mother was 94. They were both decent, active people. Out of 3 sisters mom is the least active. With that being said, she is also the one with dementia/alz.
There is a joke somewhat related to this: In a small town a mean old man died, and everyone in the town was wondering if anyone would say anything nice about him at the funeral. Finally, someone from the neighboring county agreed to do so, so the locals all waited in suspense. At the funeral, the speaker stood up and simply said "His brother was worse!"
Difficult people can be selfish. Just meeting their own needs, not thinking so much about others, expecting others to serve them-they might live longer because their hearts don't give out.
fost40 please forgive Me as I wasn't trying to be a smart ass. You have asked a great question. I have often wondered that same QUESTION which You have asked also. {{{{{ PEASE & HUGS TO YOU }}}}}
TheirDaughter, it sounds to me that you are talking about the role of a Sacred Clown, as the Navajos call it. Through their preposterous and sometimes ridiculous behavior, they teach us lessons about ourselves. :)
Maybe those people exist to help us learn how to say "no" sometimes. As I've mentioned, my dad drove me nuts. He wasn't mean, just a pain in the butt and totally oblivious to his poor behavior. I not only allowed him to get away with it, I then made myself additionally miserable by dwelling on how much he was upsetting me. I won't tell you I ever got all that good at it, but I did start confronting him. I tried not to do it in anger, but I did start telling him when he was stepping on my toes. I should have done that A LOT sooner. But, my entire family operated by being passive aggressive, so it's been very challenging for me to be honest about my feelings without being snide or irritable. Of course, some therapy didn't hurt!
I'm thinking he means his aunt, instead of his sister. It makes sense that way. Since his aunt (mother's older sister) had no children, they are helping with her.
Hello fost40, I'm sorry I do not get it. May be I'm thick, I honestly don't know. You state in Your post Your oldest Sister is 99, and Your Mom is 83...
Both of my grandfathers died young. My father's father died when Dad was a child. As far as I can tell, this was not a big loss to the family (except finacially). My mother's father (died in his 70s) would be canonized if his children had that power.
There are good people in the world. Some of them live very long lives. Some of them die young. There are less-than-wonderful and even wicked peole in the world. Some live long and some die young.
I seriously doubt that there are any legitimate statistics showing that mean people live longer!
twocents - I actually have read that mean people do live longer but cant remember the reference.
of course, I don't remember what it said... losing my own marbles.
My siblings and I have already exceeded our parent's legacy of years lived.
Out of 3 sisters mom is the least active. With that being said, she is also the one with dementia/alz.
You state in Your post Your oldest Sister is 99, and Your Mom is 83...