93 year old mom has been living with me for 3 years after broken hip. She has dementia and is very frail and also become unable to control her bowels. Recently she fell on carpet and broke her pelvis and arm. She has been in a intense rehab for 2 weeks. They have brought me in for training how to take care of her. I just don’t know if I can provide the care she needs and I’m thinking she needs more therapy before she comes home. I feel so guilty but I think she should go to a nursing home for more therapy. I could bring her home which is a 1 bedroom apt. and have nurse come in for assistance but I just don’t know if it would be enough. I know it’s bad but the bowel incontence really is difficult to deal with.
This is a lot and if you are in a 1 bedroom apartment this can be more daunting. A hospital bed will take up a good part of your living space as well as a commode. Highly unlikely that you would be able to get her into your bathroom and assist her. 2 people in a bathroom is a lot add in possibly a walker or a wheelchair and a small bathroom gets impossible to move in. And I am guessing you have a tub not a walk in shower it will be almost impossible to get her into a tub.
I think you should talk to the Social Worker or discharge planner and explain that you do not have a safe place for her to stay and it would be an unsafe discharge if she were to come home to / with you.
there is a good possibility that she will not regain enough mobility to make a 1 bedroom apartment a reality.
This is not admitting that you don't want to care for her but it is admitting that you can not safely care for her.
Worse case is she is discharged and comes home with you and she falls and is injured again and if that happens there is a good possibility that along with this one another injury may be fatal.
Ask the discharge coordinator help you look for Memory Care facilities that are taking new residents. I know the timing on this sucks. the option might be that she remains where she is until a safe facility can be found.
And in my opinion 2 weeks in rehab after a broken pelvis and broken arm is not nearly long enough.