What's my moral and financial obligation to sister and husband who have not helped in care of mom for 10 years? - AgingCare.com

What's my moral and financial obligation to sister and husband who have not helped in care of mom for 10 years?

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My sister's husband has not worked in summers, has been fired from jobs, they own two houses, have through the years asked for money from parents and sold the condominium they were to inherit not realizing that the money became part of mom's estate to support her. Neither of my sisters have lifted a finger to help her care or relieve me. Now they are in panic that their inheritance is dwindling away. I have saved 92 yo mom's life many times and she lives with me now, which has smashed my career and income and has left me trapped. What is my moral/financial obligation to these people? I am considering leaving for a month at a time (a risky decision since I am needed at home even with 24 hour caretakers) to add more money for mom's care should that time come.

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I think either type attorney who has your parent and the caretaker child as client would be best.
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Would an elder care attorney or a family attorney be the type of attorney for inheritance problems with siblings?
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Warned for years about"trouble down the road" and sought with mom legal and financial documentation. I recommend this for everyone.
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So helpful..I asked...No has been the answer to breaks or vacations but I have snuc a few..They had several options and chose none but to leave all the responsibility to me...They made bad bad moral and financial decisions though I suppose they would have done allright if mom had passed but ya know....she didnt....I am using whatever little I make to support the situation. Thank you so much for your support.
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Your sisters should have most definitely helped you throughout the years. Lo and behold, the siblings that do not help always come back when it is time to collect the "goodies", i.e., money. Since you have done all of the work, I believe you should receive 90%, if not all, of the inheritance. Your sisters seem to have a very poor attitude about helping out, and that can double the stress levels of the sibling that is doing all of the caregiving. In addition, please make sure that the money, etc. that your mother is leaving to you, is not changed by your sisters. For example, if a beneficiary is being left to you, they could ask your mother to change it. I'm not saying your sisters are dishonest, but this has happened before in other families. Since you will be away it would be a good opportunity for them to do something underhanded. Sometimes the parents do not even know what they are signing, and you may want to alert your mother that this could happen, and tell her to be especially aware if your sisters bring a notary. Also, please keep records of all of the caregiving that you have done for your Mom, just to be on the safe side, in the event that your sisters cause trouble down the road.
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What do you "owe" them? I think what you might be asking is should they receive any inheritance, correct? Your Mom has a will, and such needs to be honored. Your siblings will have to live with their darkened conscience and narcissistic ways.

Regarding leaving for a month, do you want one of your siblings to move into your house or do you want your Mom to move in with them for a month?

I recommend you bring her to their house so you have some privacy.

When I took a three week holiday from caring for my Mom, I simply gave the dates to my siblings and they ended up hiring a 24/7 caretaker. Your holiday is not up for negotiation - caretakers NEED a break.
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No...no offers of help...never. I appreciate your answer and calculated the enormous amount I saved of her estate by taking care of her at home and not at a nursing home.
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I don't think you owe them anything yourself. If there should be anything leftover when it comes time to execute the will, then the will should be followed. Your mother's money is not theirs. It is hers as long as she lives. To tell the truth, I don't think many people in these days of longer lives and expensive end-of-life care should depend on much in the way of inheritance. Have they offered to take over the caregiving to free you to earn money during the months? If they are worried about the money that would be spent for caregiving, perhaps they will step in.
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