Follow
Share

What did they do to help them or make it stop? My mother has been living in an AL for 6 months now. She used to take $50.00 (her allowance) out of her account to use for things that she needed to buy. Twice it has been stolen. The workers at her facility all have master keys that can open their rooms and can go in there whenever they want. Not that they are supposed to of course but if they know the resident is in the dining room, at a special event, out for the day or whatever they know the resident will not know if they went in. Today my mother had $50.00 stolen from her room. She has dementia and a really bad memory and they are taking advantage of the fact that she is not aware of everything that is going on. I was over to see my mother last night and she had $54.00 in her wallet. When I called her this afternoon she only had $4.00 . I knew she hadn't spent it because I am the only person who takes her out and I did not take her out today because I was working so it was obviously stolen. When I talked to the manager she had the attitude that maybe she went out today and spent it. It made me so mad because I knew that wasn't true. So they called the police and we filed a police report. The manager told the policeman that she hadn't gone to breakfast which wasn't true and that no one had been in her room today. What she didn't tell them was that the workers all have keys and could've gone in anytime that she was at breakfast or lunch. I am just so mad about it right now. It is so awful that someone would just go in your room and steal something from you especially a senior citizen. It is elder abuse. She will not have anymore money in her room but we will never find out who the thief is and it will continue happening to innocent people who think their things are safe but are not. After it happened the first time I have been keeping her money with me, but she took some money out of her account without me knowing because she forgot she wasn't supposed to. Does anyone have any ideas on what I should do about this problem?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
1 2 3
Did you report this to the DNA there? You can also out a cap on how much she can take out. I have worked in Nursing facilities for 20 years We always had a saying.Never bring anything if value in (mainly jewelry.) Have her put her purse or money in another location.But definantly report it.If reporting it to the Charge Nurse,go to the next person,May be Social Services.I have seen things stolen,and yes it does happen.Which is sad.I hope they catch this person.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

I believe you!! Install a nanny cam in her room...
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

With dementia does someone has a POA? If so, you can require that you are to be contacted when she wants to take money out. I'm sure they have to sign something to withdraw.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

My husband is a retired cop,he had to respond to nannie call Flip This nature in elderly care facilities if they're stealing money they're doing other things Our advice is find a new facility, or get a monitoring system you don't have to tell anybody it's there just do it
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Once again, it could be anyone taking things. People can walk in off the street, go up on the elevator to 'visit' (there is a sign-in at the front desk; anyone can scribble a name illegibly under 'visitor') and cruise the rooms. Usually the rooms are empty during the day, but anyone can go in and look around for valuables, if they are quick, and if questioned, say they came to leave some gift for '_____'. Other residents can go in and out of rooms, wandering, taking things that strike their fancy. Won't even get into theft by the employees. Again, the moral of the story is label everything you can, don't let your loved one keep obviously expensive items in the room, or a wad of money. what are they going to buy, anyway? the money is in an account, easily enough accessed for hair appointments, to give to relatives to buy birthday presents for grandchildren, to take out to pay for an outing somewhere. A nursing home is often pretty much a public place, and the people you would never suspect can be light-fingered.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

This is an older post but in case anyone might still look at it, I have a different viewpoint that can be useful. First, let me assure that my mother's AL is very trustworthy & things are closely monitored. In a full year we have not had any problems whatsoever, at any level. That being said, even a top-notch place could end up hiring a new worker who feels "desperate". Mom's AL offers a safe in the administrators office where they handle the residents' cash like a bank. Mom keeps $5 in her room & the rest in the safe.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Anyone thought of Nanny Cam? All kind of things that I would buy for my mother, disappeared very soon afterwards! They would not check on Mom during the night but slipped in, but not to check on her! I hid things that only I knew where things were, gone! I'd ask about it, only got shrugs!! I wish I had had a nanny cam, but I had several people that no one knew that would watch her room! I finally got a confession and she can no longer be employed in this type of work again!! One less thing to worry over!!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

On the other hand - my MIL was in rehab and insisted on taking her Ipad and kept her parkinsons meds in her room in a locked drawer instead of nurses station. When MIL returned from lunch on the unit with my husband, the drawer was open and the items were missing. She completely freaked out! My husband told her that he would find nurse and get them looking, but she demanded he call FIL and police for theft. 15 minutes later and a nurse conversation - Turns out that MIL's roommate on Medicaid had been discharged and the cleaning person for the unit had been told to gather up all items before leaving. While a nice person, the cleaning person had "some cognitive issues" and forced the locked drawer open looking for a missing item. My husband found the Ipad and the meds by the sink, where cleaner had put them after figuring out they were not missing roommate's item. All intact, nothing messed with or stolen. Two weeks later, MIL is still talking about the "theft from her room" and how you can't trust facility personnel....
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Theft is wrong. Theft from vulnerable people is even wronger, because it's abuse of the person you're supposed to be protecting.

You're working a ten hour shift, and other people haven't turned up so you don't get a break. You're physically exhausted and emotionally drained. Some residents and some families speak to you as though you were a retarded robot. Your client has all her needs catered for, and you can't pay for your electricity, and she has a purse littered with change and bills. Then you get your pay packet for the week, and you find that, great, you can either pay for the utilities or eat.

Theft is still wrong. But for lots of hired caregivers staying honest isn't so easy in practice. We treat these people abysmally and then expect an awful lot of moral value from them.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

I hear you Katiekate. I'm sure there are some good ones, but some times there are horrifying stories of elder abuse. In my grandmother's nursing home they don't allow the residents to keep money in their rooms. Its these stories that made me want to keep my dad at home even after his stroke.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

When I read about this stuf....I can only think "yeah, tell me again how/why nursing homes are soooo much better than they used to be?" This is better? Than what?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

It's a fact of life, the stealing, and it's hard to know the true story. In my mother's nursing home, her shoes of all things kept disappearing! Brand new shoes, 2 pairs. I wrote her name in magic marker on the outside of her remaining pair and they weren't taken. New clothes, nightgowns, scarves disappeared, even labelled with her name. (oh, and My grandmother's ring was stolen off her finger years ago.) Stuffed animals disappeared, expensive ones. Mom loved those stuffed animals, thought they were 'real', her 'pets'. It could be the staff, but it could be other visitors ducking into empty rooms unnoticed. It could be other residents, some of whom were mobile and walking around. One of them picked up my mother's stuffed animal and walked away for it, I had to run after her and 'trade' her a cheap beanie baby in exchange. The rooms were shared and the doors usually open all day . The moral of the story is, don't let your loved ones keep money, jewelry, or valuables in their rooms, anything that can't be replaced. They don't need a lot of money or jewelry. My mother's laundry kept disappearing, it was the fault of the laundry company. I made a BFD about it, but they shrugged and said they would look into it. So I kept replenishing her clothes with thrift store pants and tops.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Mom used to accuse people in IL of stealing her clothes and jewelry. We never found anything missing. It was her paranoia talking. She didn't need money in her AL. There was no store, and money was put in an account so if they needed to get their hair done, etc, it came out of that. She had some jewelry but it was never touched. I guess we were lucky. When she went to the NH, everything was supplied and they told us to take anything of value home with us because they could not police every visitor and person going in an out of all the rooms.  All her clothing had labels, but even so, a couple pairs of pj's disappeared.  We never knew if they were stolen or if the laundry just lost them or mixed them up.  It wasn't a big deal.  By then Mom wasn't aware of what was or was not hers and didn't care.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

My father is in AL, does not have dementia but gets confused often. Last month he told me about two incidents at the AL facility that caused me to want to question management but he insisted I didn't. I decided to wait and see if it happened again. Last week I asked him about both incidents again and his story on one of them was COMPLETELY different than what he told me the prior month and now made more sense. I am so glad I did not go off and accuse the facility of something my father made up and embarrass myself.

In your OP you said you called her and she said she had only $4. So you didn't actually SEE that the money was missing. I would rethink leaving her with anything more than $20.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I ended up in assisted living because I could not walk. However, I am in my 80's and still hold two jobs and take college courses as not to be bored. So I am completely with it. In the first facility, a diamond ring I had was stolen right out of the box which was hidden. I always had a feeling who took it but could not prove it. Later when I transferred to my current place, on three separate occasions money was stolen out of my room - it is sick and heartbreaking but it happens. Now I keep $5.00 in my purse and have hidden some other funds in a place that I can assure you no one would know to look. People do steal and there is not much you can do about it unfortunately.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

There is stealing in many assisted living facilities. It's easy to blame the patient who has dementia. Well my mother does not suffer from any dementia and someone is repeatedly stealing from her. It's a shame I cant place a camera in her room. Assisted living facilities are truly a great place for a thief.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Well it may be that someone is actually stealing her money. My mom recently had jewelry stolen from her room at her facility. We pursued it and the housekeeper was arrested however the jewelry ended up in a pwn shop and we have to pay to get it back. There's a real problem with Florida law.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Sweetpeas:

My mother has Alzheimer's, and she would carry her purse around with her 24/7 and leave nothing in her room. We never gave her money put 3 or 4 dollars. She loses that all the time,and states that someone stole it.

For some people with alzheimer's and Dementia, it is a common thing that they go through and I am not sure of the chemical reasons why, they become extremely paranoid.

I know that having a loved one with Dementia is very stressful, and I am not saying to not believe your mother, I really don't want to minimize the issue, but my mother has lost so many things, and states that they are stolen, and she has been where she is for two years, that it just takes time to work things out with your loved one.

I don't know of any patients that get that much money. Typically it is locked and recorded in a safe deposit for the time that they do go tot he store.

I wish you the best, and remember everyone here is just doing there best, just as you are.

Have a great night, and day.

D.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Sometimes she goes out with a group of other people in the AL like a field trip to a restaurant or a store, or play. I give her cash for that and it has been okay.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

--oops. ps...the above 20-30 references $20-$30 in addition to the credit card. he really feels vulnerable without any cash money.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Sweatpeas, actually what I do is set Dad's limit at high enough so that he wont go over it, but low enough so that if he lost it, the damage is limited and I can cancel it very easily, because its really my account -- he just has another card in his name--and I pay it. He doesn't go out with anyone but me, or with the ALF if they have an outing, but that would not be something I was not aware of. I don't have to transfer money; I don't have to check the account everyday because they send any alert to my email box (since its my account and I set it up to alert me when used). I give him about 20-30 and yes, he's lost it but hey, its only 20-30. a lot, but worth his self esteem. Once it was 28 and it did get stolen (probably) but I chalk that up to the universe. My father can now keep track of his wallet (I took a copy of his drivers license and all non-critical ID cards and laminated them; he cant tell the difference) he is very proud of having money and a wallet. it has been such a long year, but I have been understudying him and have become his cheerleader. Usually if its important to him, I can find a symbol that represents it. He is still in charge (except when hes not). it is a real fine line. And it pays to be able to trust those that surround him. At least mostly.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

The Al could set up a PNA account which is a personal needs account and if your mother is spending the money at the AL for example getting her nail or hair done they would subtract that money from that account . Is she going out with people or staff from the AL?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Sweatpeas, you just get online banking and check it on the computer, as you said. Plus you can transfer money from your account, to your mother's as needed online or with a phone call, where you can do the same.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Ba8lou I haven't done anything else as far as checking for other complaints. I probably will, but right now I am just trying to take care of her. She has two doctor appts. coming up, and this morning she called me and said she had lost her bottom denture. Well, I was over there last night until 8:00 p.m. so I figured it hadn't gone too 12 hours later. I went over there and we searched everywhere and I finally found it in a glass of water in her cabinet! I think I am going to start calling her before she goes to bed every night and make sure she has put her dentures in her case. I was so afraid she had thrown it out in the trash which she has already done once by wrapping it in a napkin. The staff picks up the trash quite frequently so I was a little worried. Thank God we found it. We ended up missing church but it was worth it to find it. It amazes me how things can get lost so much in such a small place :(
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

That's a good idea daughterlinda. She does get upset that she doesn't have control of her money and that makes me feel bad. I don't know how I would keep track of her balance. What if she tries to use it and there isn't enough money on her card? How do you keep track? Do you check it on the computer and then tell him how much money he has less? We used his her lock box today and I put in her debit card, and some other things, made two extra keys. I hope she doesn't open it and take the stuff out.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

DaughterLinda, what a clever thing to do. And sooo respectful of dad. You rock!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I actually "lost" my fathers American express with a $15,000 limit (its safely in his financial files) and it replaced it for him with one with his name on it. it is really off my am ex.. a 2nd name..i set his limit at $100 and get alerted when it goes over. so far, its never gone over. having one makes him feel very much in control and he wants to "pay" when I take him to get dinner. then after he pays and I turn on the computer, I get an alert that it has been used. he takes very good care of remembering it because he knows that its all hes got to keep up with and its control for him. but in a supervised manner that he is unaware of. I also bought him a money clip and gave him 20... he folds the 20 over the card and makes sure he has it in his pocket at all times. the girl who gets him up pulls it out and hands it to him after she helps him get his compression socks on.

he forgets constantly where he keeps his hearing aid batteries and pens, but he knows where the American express is!
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Sweetpeas, I'm glad that you've found a lockbox! Have the police investigated and we're you able to find out if there have been other complaints? Most facilities have family council meetings each month or so, you should voice your concerns there and see if there have been other reports of theft. You could also contact the ombudsman if you feel the facility isn't taking your complaint seriously enough.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Pullupyourpants had a good suggestion to use a debit card. She does have one and yesterday I found a security box for us to to put it in with other valuables. I found it at a yard sale for $5. Now I just need to get a few extra keys made and she can use it.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

You are right on "dementia is the perfect alibi for a thief" and that is what is happening. Someone in this facility is guilty I am sure of it. We have not found the money yet. I just can't believe how almost everyone on this question are patronizing me for what I think is the problem. I didn't write it so everyone could say you are wrong and we are right. I know that people with dementia get paranoid about things and that they stash money away absentmindedly. I am aware of what dementia does to a person. My mother has it remember! She has had it for 5 years now and is getting worse all the time.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

1 2 3
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter