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My MIL thinks that she paid and bought everything we own. Her and her husband did pay off our house 3 years ago when they sold their house and moved into AL. Very nice of them. My husband is their only child. She has also decided that all she wants to do is travel with us. She gets so mad if we go anywhere without her. She used to scream if we went fishing for the day. I tried taking her but she complains the whole time and there is no place to sit. She would expect me to carry a chair everywhere for her. We like to travel but she makes it miserable for us to go. We can't talk to her for weeks before and after. We did go on some trips with them and her but it is hard with her on her own. We have no interests the same, never have. The other trips we did our own things. Every time we do not do something for her even get the newspaper she reminds us she paid our house off. She complains about everything and everyone she is not easy to spend time with.

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Yes my MIL has dementia and the money is an issue with my hubby she does not really want the money back. she does use it to try to guilt us though. I agree her anger is her problem but she does make it miserable. I think it is none of her business if we go somewhere it is not our job to take her places. I am not her BF. I do not want to spend my time with her I would rather do nothing. Sorry for venting. It is up to hubby to decide about the money it is his gift from his parents. We could pay her back at least partially. She calls lots and tries to make us feel sorry for her. She is always sick or so she says been like this for years and usually better later. She likes to be boss has not worked with me. I am not going to be her slave. I am glad she is in AL not in my house. My hubby agrees with me on this.
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I am sure when they paid off your house they/she assumed you would be their new BFF and gratefully do anything they wanted to entertain them.. Yes, that gift came with strings attached, and she may feel you are not "keeping up" your end of the bargain. If it's that terrible, can you offer to pay her back? My ILS once paid off a truck for hubs,, FIL kept saying not to pay it back,, MIL got huffy and said we "owed"them. We borrowed the money and paid them back. Yes we had a loan again, but no more guilt trips.
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Let her be mad. That is her problem not yours. If you decide to tell her before hand or not is up to you, but when she starts to act up, leave. Tell her you will not listen to that behaviour and walk away. Do the same when you return from a trip. If she starts up leave. She may or may not get the picture, depending on her mental state (does she have dementia?) Even a young child stops their tantrum if there is no more audience.
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What about not telling her about the trips? Just don't say that you are going somewhere or you went somewhere. You don't have to take her on trips with you. What are her limitations that she is in AL for?
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