Mom's in advanced stage dementia at this point, but is lucid enough to know if anyone is doing anything to her hands. She won't let anyone - and I mean ANYBODY - trim, file, or clean her fingernails. It's really disgusting and unsafe for the care workers at the dementia home. She fights pretty vigorously, scratches, claws, and is really aggressive about it. I believe she is breeding the next plague with the gross mess trapped under her nails.
I haven't run into this problem before on this site, so I thought I'd ask what has worked for others in this situation.
We have tried the rational approach, which everybody with any experience with dementia knows doesn't work. "Please", "I'll paint your nails if you let me...", "you're going to hurt yourself", etc.
I've tried distraction with music and talking to just try to wipe underneath with a bathing wipe. No good. None of us have any intention of getting slapped and scratched by her over this.