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I need to get Mom to her gastroenterologist appt in two days. Most times she refuses to go because of her dementia. This is an important appt. She has seen him twice. I am not a patient of his. If Mom doesn't go do you think I can go in her place to talk about her issues?

You have gotten solid advice here but I just want to add one thing. Last year, I started to have increasing difficulty getting dad to go to his appointments. Even if I did get him to go, they stressed him terribly and it took a lot out of him. It was that point that we started calling local palliative care programs for information on what they had to offer. Dad actually qualified for hospice and after much thought, decided to do that. It has improved his quality of life (mine too), and I so appreciate not having to worry about coaxing him to go appointments, testing, etc. and then him picking up germs while we are there. Seemed like every time we went, he would end up with a cold virus or something. I’m not telling you what to do, but it may be food for thought up the road. Wishing you and your mom many good days.
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Reply to anonymous1010889
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Do you have medical power of attorney? Has she given the doctor permission to speak about her medical situation? If not, the doctor will not be able to give you feedback. You can pass along information but he can’t respond unless she gave him permission to do so.
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Reply to NeedHelpWithMom
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Thanks everyone....but I should have mentioned that Mom had a heart attack and some strokes and doesn't understand much. She is afraid to go out of the house and is extremely weak right now. I just am trying to avoid the hospitals again at all costs because she always comes out way worse than when she went in. We have been to 3 different hospitals now and they all treated her horribly.
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Reply to Petite1
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The APS that rescued mthr suggested that they go out to lunch at McDonald's, just like she was, and got her into the car. On the way there, they said nothing about the doctor they were going to. They parked and asked her to come in with them since there was a lady (not doctor) there they wanted to talk to and it might be awhile, and they'd go to McDonald's as soon as they were done, boy won't an ice cream cone taste good. So mthr sat in the waiting room nicely and went back nicely. APS kept reminding her of the ice cream.

Your mother probably won't make a scene in public. I think anxiety is what gets these elders' backs up against the wall. By reducing the anxiety about going, not dressing up, not speaking about it, you will help her get the care she needs. You might even be able to get the doc office to prescribe a single anxiety pill for the visit. Mine gave me 2 when I asked for my colonoscopy (I needed them).
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Reply to surprise
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No. Does the office have the capability to do video visits? Perhaps that would work if it’s a follow up appt. But a physician or their designee has to see their patient visually.
I’m for the “therapeutic fib”.
Why won’t she go?
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Reply to Shane1124
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No, Medicare will not allow billing for a patient if they are not there. I tried when all the doctor was going to do was go over her numbers. Mom had Dementia and just would sit there anyway. Was told its not allowed.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Petite, what you could do is use a "therapeutic fib" saying you yourself have a doctor's appointment that you are nervous about, and could Mom come with you for reassurance? It's worth a try.
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Reply to freqflyer
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Why don't you call the office and explain the situation and ask if it's OK if you go in her place if she refuses. They may charge you for it instead of her but at least you will know for sure.
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Reply to Tiredandweary
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